[Namron] Thanks Pooky

[Isobel de Kirkbryde]

Pooky - sometimes love means sharing the hard times as
well as the fun.  I'm glad I was able to let you share
about your friend.  I have found that sharing about
Sjanna has been the most helpful in dealing with my
grief. 


I met Sjanna (pronounced Shauna) in June of 2002.  
Mike, was taking me to the family island in Canada. 
Apparently Greg and Sjanna used to play in Namron and
Greg was Baron Greg "something."  It is sad to say
that I don't know what their SCA names were. 
 
Sjanna and Greg, moved to Champaign/Urbana, Illinois
some years ago.   She and Greg never had any children,
but she did help raise his two girls.  
 
Sjanna had diabetes and severe rheumatoid arthritis
which began showing its evil effects on her hands, but
eventually went after her knees and ankles as well. 
She used Methotrexate until it no longer worked and
was on steroids for years to manage the pain and
inflammation in her joints. 
 
Sjanna was Lady Roanna's best friend.  It was funny
how Sjanna and I connected immediately.  We had a
great time that trip.  My son got to play with Greg's
race track and cars.  Greg takes professional
photographs of race cars for a living.  What a magnet
for a teenaged boy.  We all sat together and played
Cranium and laughed and laughed and laughed.  It was
such a welcome change from the work routine and stress
I had been under. 
 
Sjanna was able to "read" Mike on that trip.  She told
me Mike loved me with all his heart and to expect him
to ask me to marry him.  Mike and I had only been
seeing each other for a couple of months.  Yet, she
was certain we would marry, which indeed we did. 
 
Sjanna was a physician and began her practice as an
OB/GYN. She lost enough hand control that she had to
give up delivering babies (for fear of dropping one)
and went into general practice.  Eventually after
multiple surgeries for fractures and joint
replacements, she was unable to be a practicing
physician and did some teaching in psychiatry and I
believe did some online teaching as well.  She did
find those useful outlts, but definitely not nearly as
rewarding as practicing medicine. 
 
Every time she would have a surgery she would get
pneumonia and be down for weeks. Because she was a
physician, she was at least able to go home.  She
would go home with a central line and IV antibiotics
she would give herself.   Mike and I would worry every
time she had pneumonia that it would "get her." 
 
Mike and I married April 26, 2003 and she was one of
my attendants with her husband standing up for Mike. 
I also decided at that time to change my name since I
was starting a new life.  She had her husband were
extremely supportive of me doing what I needed to for
myself.  Although they were practicing Pagans, and I
am a Christian, we were dear friends.  Greg and Sjanna
performed a ceremony for my name change and it was
beautiful.  As an aside, another one of my attendants
is Jewish and attended the little name change ceremony
as well. 
 
The last time I went to see her was a little less than
a year ago.  Mike and I went out to help out after one
of Sjanna's surgeries.  Her mobility was very limited
and the assistance and the company were welcome.  She
and I got some time to talk alone and she told me she
was really struggling with her body giving out on her
and not allowing her to do her calling -- being a
physician.  I related to that because I had a recent
diagnosis of degenerative disc disease and had tried
steroids with a terrible reaction to them.  She also
sat down with me and helped me write an advanced
directive.  This was not easy for her, but she felt it
was important that my wishes be put on paper and that
I have all the information I needed to make informed
decisions.  Because she was a physician and had
practiced for many years, she was able to guide me and
tell me honestly and openly what to expect in certain
circumstances and that really helped me frame what I
wrote.  (This was long before the Terry Shiavo case)
 
Sjanna and I didn't communicate much.  Her voice was
hard for me to hear on the phone and she couldn't type
on the computer because of her hands.  I didn't say as
much to her about how much she influenced my life in
the mere three years I got to spend with her as I wish
I had.  The thing that keeps running over and over in
my mind is, "Did she know I loved her?"  I just don't
know if I ever told her how much she meant to me and I
want to be sure she knew I loved her.
 
Thanks to everyone for allowing me to share Sjanna
with you.  And thanks expecially to Pooky for giving
me the permission to by sharing about your friend. 
I've heard it said that friends are family we choose
for ourselves.  I definitely feel that way about
Sjanna.




Isobel de Kirkbryde, a widow.  My son, Odhran Kilmaine and I were blessed to be taken in by Master Michael Fenwick of Fotheringhay.

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