[Namron] FW: Chaucer's Pick-Up Lines!

[Susan Campbell]

I figured we could all use a pre beltane laugh!
  Ldy Susannah

  >GALFRIDUS CHAUCERES LYNES OF PICKE-VPPE:
>
>-Do sheriffs administere thee to those who breke the kinges peace? Bycause 
>thou lookst "fyne."
>
>-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.
>
>-Ich do deuote myn diligence to studye of the anatomie of engendrure. Ich 
>haue happed vpon an abstruse passage in the werke of Constantyne the 
>Affrikan De Coitu, the which I kan nat construe. For lernynges sake and 
>the goode of wisdom, woldstow performe the acte of venus withe me so that 
>ich may interpret thys clause in propre wise?
>
>-Ich loved thy papere, but yt wolde looke much better yscattred across the 
>floore of myn rentede dorme roome at dawne.
>
>-Art thou a disastrous poll tax? Bycause I feele a risynge comynge on.
>
>-Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve?
>
>-Thou lookst so mvch lyk an aungel that the friares haue lefte the roome 
>yn terror!
>
>-Shulle we maken the cindreblokke to synge?
>
>-Woldstow haue me shyfte thyne voweles?
>
>-Were thou yn my seisin, ich wolde nevir escheat on thee.
>
>-Thy beaute ys more intoxicatyng than the OVP openne bar.
>
>-Yf thy beautee were an poeme, yt wolde make Dante looke lyk Marcabru.
>
>-The preeste telleth me that we aren more than VII degrees of 
>consanguinitee. Game on!
>
>-Ich notyce that myn demense and thyn do abutte. Wolde yt plese thee to 
>consolidate ovre powere-base in the midlands?
>
>-Makstow a pilgrymage heere often?
>
>-Let vs breake oure mornyng faste togedir tomorrowe. Shal ich sende a page 
>wyth a message for thee, or shal ich wake thee wyth an aubade composid ex 
>tempore?
>
>-Ich coude drynke a yearlye tun of thee.
>
>-Ys thy father a makere of walles? For how else dide he gyve thee svch a 
>tall and fayre forheed?
>
>-Ich haue the tale of Lancelot yn myn roome. Woldstow rede of yt wyth me?
>
>--By my soule, thou art a verye mappe of helle. For thy face lyk the 
>rivere Styx wil make me swere oothes neuer to be fforsworn, and thy 
>embrace lyk the Lethe shal make me foryet al else, and lyk vnto the 
>Flegeton thyn arse ys ON FYRE!
>
>-Woldstow be myn Gaveston?
>
>-Howe abovte a blancmange and the acte of Venus? Whatte, blancmange 
>pleseth thee nat?
>
>-If ich sayde that thou hadde a bele chose, woldstow holde it ayeinst me?




		
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