[Namron] FW: Chaucer's Pick-Up Lines!

[scott melton]

id laugh if i knew what it said
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Susan Campbell 
  To: namrom 
  Sent: Thursday, May 04, 2006 5:00 AM
  Subject: [Namron] FW: Chaucer's Pick-Up Lines!


  I figured we could all use a pre beltane laugh!
  Ldy Susannah

    >GALFRIDUS CHAUCERES LYNES OF PICKE-VPPE:
    >
    >-Do sheriffs administere thee to those who breke the kinges peace? Bycause 
    >thou lookst "fyne."
    >
    >-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.
    >
    >-Ich do deuote myn diligence to studye of the anatomie of engendrure. Ich 
    >haue happed vpon an abstruse passage in the werke of Constantyne the 
    >Affrikan De Coitu, the which I kan nat construe. For lernynges sake and 
    >the goode of wisdom, woldstow performe the acte of venus withe me so that 
    >ich may interpret thys clause in propre wise?
    >
    >-Ich loved thy papere, but yt wolde looke much better yscattred across the 
    >floore of myn rentede dorme roome at dawne.
    >
    >-Art thou a disastrous poll tax? Bycause I feele a risynge comynge on.
    >
    >-Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve?
    >
    >-Thou lookst so mvch lyk an aungel that the friares haue lefte the roome 
    >yn terror!
    >
    >-Shulle we maken the cindreblokke to synge?
    >
    >-Woldstow haue me shyfte thyne voweles?
    >
    >-Were thou yn my seisin, ich wolde nevir escheat on thee.
    >
    >-Thy beaute ys more intoxicatyng than the OVP openne bar.
    >
    >-Yf thy beautee were an poeme, yt wolde make Dante looke lyk Marcabru.
    >
    >-The preeste telleth me that we aren more than VII degrees of 
    >consanguinitee. Game on!
    >
    >-Ich notyce that myn demense and thyn do abutte. Wolde yt plese thee to 
    >consolidate ovre powere-base in the midlands?
    >
    >-Makstow a pilgrymage heere often?
    >
    >-Let vs breake oure mornyng faste togedir tomorrowe. Shal ich sende a page 
    >wyth a message for thee, or shal ich wake thee wyth an aubade composid ex 
    >tempore?
    >
    >-Ich coude drynke a yearlye tun of thee.
    >
    >-Ys thy father a makere of walles? For how else dide he gyve thee svch a 
    >tall and fayre forheed?
    >
    >-Ich haue the tale of Lancelot yn myn roome. Woldstow rede of yt wyth me?
    >
    >--By my soule, thou art a verye mappe of helle. For thy face lyk the 
    >rivere Styx wil make me swere oothes neuer to be fforsworn, and thy 
    >embrace lyk the Lethe shal make me foryet al else, and lyk vnto the 
    >Flegeton thyn arse ys ON FYRE!
    >
    >-Woldstow be myn Gaveston?
    >
    >-Howe abovte a blancmange and the acte of Venus? Whatte, blancmange 
    >pleseth thee nat?
    >
    >-If ich sayde that thou hadde a bele chose, woldstow holde it ayeinst me?







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