[Namron] FW: Chaucer's Pick-Up Lines!

[Foster, Shadow (HSC)]

Ummm, can someone translate?  I still haven't figured out how to read Old English very well and it would take me all morning to get through this message.

 

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From: namron-bounces+shadow-foster=ouhsc.edu at ansteorra.org [mailto:namron-bounces+shadow-foster=ouhsc.edu at ansteorra.org] On Behalf Of Susan Campbell
Sent: Thursday, May 04, 2006 5:00 AM
To: namrom
Subject: [Namron] FW: Chaucer's Pick-Up Lines!

 

I figured we could all use a pre beltane laugh!

Ldy Susannah

	>GALFRIDUS CHAUCERES LYNES OF PICKE-VPPE:
	>
	>-Do sheriffs administere thee to those who breke the kinges peace? Bycause 
	>thou lookst "fyne."
	>
	>-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.
	>
	>-Ich do deuote myn diligence to studye of the anatomie of engendrure. Ich 
	>haue happed vpon an abstruse passage in the werke of Constantyne the 
	>Affrikan De Coitu, the which I kan nat construe. For lernynges sake and 
	>the goode of wisdom, woldstow performe the acte of venus withe me so that 
	>ich may interpret thys clause in propre wise?
	>
	>-Ich loved thy papere, but yt wolde looke much better yscattred across the 
	>floore of myn rentede dorme roome at dawne.
	>
	>-Art thou a disastrous poll tax? Bycause I feele a risynge comynge on.
	>
	>-Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve?
	>
	>-Thou lookst so mvch lyk an aungel that the friares haue lefte the roome 
	>yn terror!
	>
	>-Shulle we maken the cindreblokke to synge?
	>
	>-Woldstow haue me shyfte thyne voweles?
	>
	>-Were thou yn my seisin, ich wolde nevir escheat on thee.
	>
	>-Thy beaute ys more intoxicatyng than the OVP openne bar.
	>
	>-Yf thy beautee were an poeme, yt wolde make Dante looke lyk Marcabru.
	>
	>-The preeste telleth me that we aren more than VII degrees of 
	>consanguinitee. Game on!
	>
	>-Ich notyce that myn demense and thyn do abutte. Wolde yt plese thee to 
	>consolidate ovre powere-base in the midlands?
	>
	>-Makstow a pilgrymage heere often?
	>
	>-Let vs breake oure mornyng faste togedir tomorrowe. Shal ich sende a page 
	>wyth a message for thee, or shal ich wake thee wyth an aubade composid ex 
	>tempore?
	>
	>-Ich coude drynke a yearlye tun of thee.
	>
	>-Ys thy father a makere of walles? For how else dide he gyve thee svch a 
	>tall and fayre forheed?
	>
	>-Ich haue the tale of Lancelot yn myn roome. Woldstow rede of yt wyth me?
	>
	>--By my soule, thou art a verye mappe of helle. For thy face lyk the 
	>rivere Styx wil make me swere oothes neuer to be fforsworn, and thy 
	>embrace lyk the Lethe shal make me foryet al else, and lyk vnto the 
	>Flegeton thyn arse ys ON FYRE!
	>
	>-Woldstow be myn Gaveston?
	>
	>-Howe abovte a blancmange and the acte of Venus? Whatte, blancmange 
	>pleseth thee nat?
	>
	>-If ich sayde that thou hadde a bele chose, woldstow holde it ayeinst me?
	
	

 

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