NK - Clarification RE: Northkeep fire victims

Dennis England d.england at worldnet.att.net
Sat May 27 08:08:28 PDT 2000

Hi All,

I've been following some of this and the many other misunderstandings I've
seen on here and would like to offer something to consider.  Approximatly
80% of all human communication is non-verbal ie; body language, facial
expressions etc.  That makes e-communications particularly susceptible to
misunderstandings.  Humans by nature when we don't have all the information
"fill in the blanks" with our own thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc.

If we will keep this in mind as we read communications, ask questions for
clarification, and try not to make assumptions we probably can avoid a lot
of these rifts.  One other thing and then I'll take off my therapist hat;
its sometimes difficult to attribute good intentions to others but it makes
life so much more peaceful for everyone.  :)

Thanks for taking time to read this.  I meant no offense to anyone.
Always the peacemaker,

----- Original Message -----
From: Hugh & Belinda Niewoehner <the_burg at busprod.com>
To: <Northkeep at ansteorra.org>
Sent: Friday, May 26, 2000 8:02 PM
Subject: Re: NK - Clarification RE: Northkeep fire victims

> Tony And Catherine Lackey wrote:
> >
> > Secondly, I want to express a sincere wish that  we could all just quit
> > making people feel apologetic because we misinterpreted their e-mail.
> > HELLO!! Anybody heard of of giving something the "benefit of doubt"?
> Or if you do have questions or concerns, why not _privately_ ask the
> person if that is what they intended.  Explain to that person and that
> person _alone_ what bothers you about the way it was said or done.  Most
> likely it can be straightened out peacefully with no one else being
> involved.  There have been many times when someone has suddenly treated
> me coldly and I'm not even aware why they are angry with me.  I'd much
> rather they told me.  Hopefully, we could work it out, but if not, at
> least I'd know why they were mad and not have to wait for the rumor mill
> to finally tell me what I did.
> >         Hear, hear!  I have seen a great deal too much of this on
> > lists.  Is this something about email or do some people have an attitude
> > (or perhaps need mood-altering medication)?  Is there a need to publicly
> > snipe at someone and attach some sinister intention to their remarks?  I
> > have seen this just recently on this list and it made me wince (not for
> > the first time).  Let us refrain from such actions and I promise we will
> > enjoy this list and our game a good deal more!
> I have been seeing this on other lists as well.  People get very
> defensive, especially when they are publicly criticized.  It gets people
> jumping in to defend one position or the other over something totally
> unimportant and sometimes leads to people getting mean and personal.
> The same logic applies to rumors.  I would never believe something bad
> your "friend" said about you, Tamara, without first asking you about it.
> I hope you'd do the same for me. :)
> Ismet
> (Damon's footnote: Remember some basics of newsgroup and email list
> sanity.
> 1. Before you post, make sure you read the _entire_ thread.
> 2. Don't write out of anger, write your message, walk away, read it
> again (if you're mad wait until tomorrow), decide if that is really what
> you wanted to say, THEN send it.
> 3. Once you've had your say, the issue is OVER.  Go on with life.)

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