NK - Clarification RE: Northkeep fire victims

Hugh & Belinda Niewoehner the_burg at busprod.com
Fri May 26 18:02:47 PDT 2000

Tony And Catherine Lackey wrote:
> Secondly, I want to express a sincere wish that  we could all just quit
> making people feel apologetic because we misinterpreted their e-mail.
> HELLO!! Anybody heard of of giving something the "benefit of doubt"? 

Or if you do have questions or concerns, why not _privately_ ask the
person if that is what they intended.  Explain to that person and that
person _alone_ what bothers you about the way it was said or done.  Most
likely it can be straightened out peacefully with no one else being
involved.  There have been many times when someone has suddenly treated
me coldly and I'm not even aware why they are angry with me.  I'd much
rather they told me.  Hopefully, we could work it out, but if not, at
least I'd know why they were mad and not have to wait for the rumor mill
to finally tell me what I did.

>         Hear, hear!  I have seen a great deal too much of this on several
> lists.  Is this something about email or do some people have an attitude
> (or perhaps need mood-altering medication)?  Is there a need to publicly
> snipe at someone and attach some sinister intention to their remarks?  I
> have seen this just recently on this list and it made me wince (not for
> the first time).  Let us refrain from such actions and I promise we will
> enjoy this list and our game a good deal more!

I have been seeing this on other lists as well.  People get very
defensive, especially when they are publicly criticized.  It gets people
jumping in to defend one position or the other over something totally
unimportant and sometimes leads to people getting mean and personal.

The same logic applies to rumors.  I would never believe something bad
your "friend" said about you, Tamara, without first asking you about it.
I hope you'd do the same for me. :) 


(Damon's footnote: Remember some basics of newsgroup and email list
1. Before you post, make sure you read the _entire_ thread.  
2. Don't write out of anger, write your message, walk away, read it
again (if you're mad wait until tomorrow), decide if that is really what
you wanted to say, THEN send it.
3. Once you've had your say, the issue is OVER.  Go on with life.)

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