[Northkeep] Suggestion

Marc Carlson marccarlson20 at hotmail.com
Fri May 24 08:58:48 PDT 2002

Ismet brought up an interesting point.  There IS a lot of criticism going on
in general (and I am certainly not leaving myself out of this).

Rather than looking only at the negatives, we try to stop and notice the
positives.  I don't mean that we should delude ourselves about things like
the flaws in our current social interaction -- there's far too much of that
going on already (just a note:  just because you, or you, or you haven't
experienced a problem, or have been being a good person, the fact that him,
and him, and her, and them, have, suggests that there IS a problem that
needs to be looked at somewhere.  It may or may not be YOUR problem).

What we might try doing is watch what other people are doing - and when they
do something that we like or appreciate - TELL them.  Thank them.  Give them
a pat on the back.  I'm not talking about getting up in court and lauding
them, or giving them another cookie-award.  It doesn't have to even be
public.  Just something to let them KNOW that they have been noticed and

In the Middle Ages there was a concept called "Largess".  In this Society
this has become one of those confused terms (ok, technically by the 1560s
the meaning had already gotten screwed up, but I really want to discuss the
-medieval- definition).  "Largess" didn't refer to the goodies people gave
you to tell you that they thought your work was good.  Largess refers to a
quality in the GIVER -- a person who is "large" enough, bountiful enough,
liberal enough with themselves and their wealth, both physical and spiritual
that they can share with others, give of themselves to others.

If people want to look at some of the really cool aspects of the Middle
Ages, this is a good one (right up there with the ideal that Serving others
is an honor, not a duty).  Kind of tricky for the modern mindset, but

Ismet, in taking the time to point out people she saw as having been good to
new people, was displaying Largess (I won't degrade her efforts by
questioning whether I should have been there or not, although I wouldn't
have put myself on that list.  It's something I've tried to work on - if
she's seen it, then clearly at some point I was sucessful.  I'm grateful for
the acknowledgement - if I work on it long enough I'm hoping to reach the
point where I can see it in myself).  Thank you, ma'am.


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