[Northkeep] View Point

Frank Howerton hoefish at hotmail.com
Sat May 25 07:00:40 PDT 2002

    Well you can just as easily read Balvins response as "They are leaving,
too bad they were nice." Everyone wants to always make the jump that it MUST
be the worst. Of all the people in this Barony, he is one of the few people
that I cannot see cuffing down a new person. I believe in everyones e-mail
ferver to make there lives a little more interesting they look for the bad
and a confrontation. Being an obnoxious turd is not Balvins "style", it's
mine. If you MUST make your own lives seem more interesting and have to play
the drama-queen, direct it my way. At least then your arguement will have
some foundation.


>From: "Marc Carlson" <marccarlson20 at hotmail.com>
>Reply-To: northkeep at ansteorra.org
>To: northkeep at ansteorra.org
>Subject: Re: [Northkeep] Sir Balvins Defence
>Date: Fri, 24 May 2002 09:00:17 -0500
>I agree with you about Balvin being a nice and good person, and never
>intentionally doing anything hurtfull.
>The fact is, however, he sent his message - which is easily read as being
>curt, and just this side of saying "don't let the door hit you on the ass
>the way out", and topposted that to Sioned's letter, which was itself
>topposted to Ainar's forward of Seth's message.  Neither of those following
>messages were edited in any way.  Therefore, it is not a real stretch to
>read his message as a response to Sioned's message - and she, as you will
>recall was talking about the problems she's had with the local group.  Now,
>while I may feel that some of those problems are based on point of view
>(hers versus the people she's had difficulties with) - this in no way
>diminishes the pain and discomfort that has resulted.
>Now, I understand that some people may not care about that, or that may be
>little too touchy-feelie for them, but since I've been bitching about
>similar difficulties in getting people to show up at things, I've sort of
>placed myself into the position of having to give a shit about what people
>are feeling.  Sorry - get over it.
>Now, had you-Angus, or Alton, or even Frank, had written such a letter - my
>response would have been to say to myself, "gee, that's too bad" and not
>bothered to respond - since, oh, gosh, you aren't PEERS.
>It may seem a little peculiar to me (as Marc), but peerage in the SCA is
>supposed to confer not only some cool benefits, but also some serious
>obligations.  For example, people look to THEM to see how to behave.  [And
>you know, I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure that there might be some
>connection between the fact that of the small number of peers we have had
>around here, most of them (for perfectly good reasons all, mind you) have
>tended not to play with the local group AS a group - instead focusing on
>their own things and playing elsewhere - and the unspoken sense that being
>part of the Group is somehow something people shouldn't invest too much in.
>But I digress...]
>Since people DO watch the peers to see how to behave, it might be kind of
>nice if they'd take a little more responsibility for how their words can be
>perceived in general (since of course no one can always keep themselves
>being misunderstood).  In fact, pretty much what Ainar was talking about
>with that request that people might want to keep in mind how they come
>across to new people.  As I said, it took no stretching AT ALL to read
>Balvin as slamming a new person who's had some problems getting to be part
>of the main group.
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