[Northkeep] Off topic but funny

Montega Blackdragon montega_blackdragon at hotmail.com
Fri Jan 23 05:00:56 PST 2004


Subject: New Software



Dear Tech Support,



Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a 
slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry 
applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.



In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as 
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs 
such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now, Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and 
House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system!



I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but it didn't help. 
What can I do?



Signed,

-Desperate







Reply:

Dear Desperate:



First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while 
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.



Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to 
install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then 
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But 
remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, 
Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that creates 
SnoringLoudly.Wav files.



Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or re-install another 
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash 
Husband 1.0.



In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited 
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider 
additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally 
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 5.9.



Good Luck!

-Tech Support




Thought this would bring a chuckle or two!

Tega

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