[Northkeep] Off topic but funny
ravenrux at cox.net
ravenrux at cox.net
Fri Jan 23 08:09:30 PST 2004
You poor, poor people.
Daruma
From: "Marc Carlson" <marccarlson20 at hotmail.com>
Date: 2004/01/23 Fri AM 10:59:33 EST
To: northkeep at ansteorra.org
Subject: RE: [Northkeep] Off topic but funny
>From: "Montega Blackdragon" <montega_blackdragon at hotmail.com>
>Subject: New Software
>...
Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys
Night 2.5, and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system
whenever selected. I can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking
about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but un-install does not work on this
program. Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, Joe
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0, and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system
once installed. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual
under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support."
I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to
alleviate software augmentation. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal
with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You
must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the
command IAPOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because
ultimately you will have to give the IAPOLOGIZE command before the operating
system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you
take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
Best of luck, Tech Support.
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