RF - Family

[Wolfsong's Masquerade]

----Original Message Follows----

 >Not that my opinion ever really mattered to anyone..

Your opinion has counted as much as anyone elses..
your problem is the way you presented it.

PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR CLARIFICATION BEFORE MAKING ASSUMPITIONS. i 
DON'T EVER REMEMBER ONE TIME WHEN I DIDN'T TRY TO CLARIFY MY INTENSIONS WHEN 
SOME APPROACHED ME, OR IF ABOUT A PROBLEM ASKED ME TO CLARIFY MY OPINION. ON 
SOME OCCASIONS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN QUICK TO JUDGE AND I NEVER EVER HAD A REASON 
TO HURT SOME ONE FROM AN ASSUMPTION, MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE HURT ME WHEN 
THEY ASSUMED. oNE INDIVIDIAL I WAS HAVING WHAT i THOUGHT TO BE A PERSONAL 
CONVERSATION, NEXT THING i KNOW THE PERSON I WAS TALKING TO USED THAT 
INFORMATION AGAIST ME... THING IS.. i WASN'T SAYING ANYTHING THAT i WASN'T 
LEAD TO BELIEVE BY THE THIRD PARTY INVOLVED, NOW i NOT ONLY LOST A GOOD 
FRIEND... BUT LIES CIRCLED BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO GOT INVOLVED, AND I AND THE 
OTHER PERSON GOT REALLY HURT. PERSONALLY WHEN i PRESENTED SOMETHING, I TRIED 
TO BE AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE, AND GOING ON WHAT i HAD BEEN LEAD TO BELIEVE 
CLARIFICATION WAS TOSSED OUT THE WINDOW, INSTEAD OF BEING PRESENTED WHEN I 
WAS WRONG. OR WAS BEING "LED" TO BELIEVE.

INSTEAD PEOPLE LAUGHED... AND DECIDED THAT i WASN'T WORTH THIE TIME TO HELP.

SO I STOPPED HELPING THOSE ITHOUGHT i COULD RESPECT.
 >because I have always been the one people have
outcast >ebcause I was different..

Look around...real hard...everyone in this group has
been outcast...different...a misfit... or otherwise
not really fit in somewhere...

A NEW INDIVIDUAL SHOULD BE ACCEPTED WITH OPEN ARMS, AND SHOWN HOW TO HELP 
NOT HINDER. I WAS NEVER GIVEN THAT CHANCE, NO ONE EVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A 
PART OF THIS GROUP I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY, AND WHEN I ASKED QUESTIONS i 
WAS PUSHED ASIDE BECAUSE IT TOOK TOO LONG FOR THOSE TO EXPLAIN WHAT i NEEDED 
TO KNOW. ONLY A SELECT FEW, THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE HELPED ME SEE WHERE I WAS 
GOING WRONG.. THE REST OF THEM MADE ME AN OUTCAST.

 >and tried too hard..

in the wrong ways

SAME AS ABOVE, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO... AND WHEN I WAS WRONG.. MANY 
DIDN'T TRY TO HELP ME... THEY JUST TALKED BAD ABOUT ME.. AND WHEN IT GOT TO 
ME..IT HURT BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT MANY OF YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE COMMON 
RESPECT OF FRIENDSHIP.

 >I just >got tired of trying to live up to everyone's
 >needs...

not your job!!! You cannot fufill needs of people you
don't know well.

yES, BUT THAT ISTHE TYPE OF EPRSON I AM, I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN OPEN, ANS 
WILLING TO HELP, AND WHEN I DID MAKE A MISTAKE THIS IS WHEN OTHER HAD TAKEN 
ME FOR GRANTED.. I MESSED UP ONCE... AND THEN i WAS OUTCAST.

 >notice i haven't been around for a while??? this is
 >why... the bickering.. and the harsh emails from
those >I thought I could respect...

If you lose respect for someone over a little
bickering, you really didn't know them or have
really shallow images of people...

IT WAS FOR A NUMBER OF THINGS THAT HAD HAPPEND, IT WASN'T JUST THIS 
INCIDENT. i AM VERY PATIENT WITH THINGS, AND VERY WILLING TO LEARN, AND 
HELP, AND GIVE, IMAGES WERE EARNED IN MY EYES...OVER A PEROID OF TIME. STILL 
I TRIED NOT TO JUDGE BECAUSE OF MY LACK OF KNOWLEDGE, BUT HOW THAT 
PERSONALWAYS TREATED MY PERSON. tHIS CAUSED ME TO LOSE RESPECT FOR A NUMBER 
OF PEOPLE.

If you receive harsh e-mails from people...maybe you
should examine why they would send you such things...
maybe your actions toward them and theirs is why...
maybe it is because you refuse to listen...
you are not always the "victim"
maybe you have victimized them by requiring of them
things that are not given - but are earned...like
respect, friendship, acceptance...

WELL AGAIN... FRIENDSHIP SHOULD ALWAYS BE GIVEN, NOT EARNED. RESPECT SHOULD 
BE GIVEN, AND EITHER LOST, OR GROW DEPENDING UP N THAT PERSON, ACCEPTENCE 
SAME HERE... EVERYONE SHOULD BE ACCEPTED WITHOUT JUDGEMENT IN ANY SITUATION. 
NO ONE CAN BE THE FIRST TO JUDGE BECAUSE WE HAVE ALL SINNED.

 >and now I can't because
 >some are just too selfish to give ...

people are not required to give anything...
giving is voluntary...and just because they
don't chose to give you someting you want from
them is no reason to condemn them...

I KNOW THIS, BUT STILL WHEN PEOPLE GIVE..INSTEAD OF TAKE.. OR IGNORE...IT 
HELPS EVERYONE OUT.. NOT JUST THOSE INVOLVED. I WAS NOT CONDEMING ANYONE...I 
WAS MAKING A PPOINT TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT GIVING IS MUCH BETTER THAN 
HIUNDERING EVERYONE AROUND... IN ANY SITUATION.

 > and when people try to show they
 >acre.. they are rejected

depends upon what cost you are requiring for
your "freely giving", almost all your gifts
come with "strings" ...

MY GIFTS NEVER HAD STRINGS.... IF YOU BELIEVE THIS..MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY 
TALKING TO SOMEOF MY FRIENDS THAT i HAVE HAD FOR YEARS????

 >why can't we all just be a family.?????

We are...some of the worst fights and feuds
are those that start with family...

I HAVE LIVED IN A FAMILY LIKE THIS.. AND IT DROVE US APART HOWEVER...

Just because people bicker does not mean they
hate each other...it is just another form of
communication...if people were always pleasant
and politically correct...they are showing a
facade...they are not showing
their true selves or emotions...

A FORM OF COMMUNICATION DOESN'T INVOLVE NAME CALLING, HURTFUL RESOLUTIONS 
(UNLESS DONE TRHOUGH TRUTH AND LOVE), I KNOW CONVERSATIONS AND COMMUNICATION 
ISN'T ALWAYS PLEASENT, BUT THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO KEEP THEM OFF THE 
E-WAVES SO OTHERS DON'T HAVE TO HAVE IN THIER BOX, BETTER STEPS AND RATIONAL 
COMMUNICATION GETS THINGS DONE BETTER AND MORE PLEASENTLY THAN BICKERING.. 
AND YELLING, AND ETC.

and no one likes fake people...

I HAVE NEVER BEEN FAKE, IF YOU OR ANYONE HAS PRECIEVED THAT i HAVE BEEN.. 
AGAIN.. TRY TALKING TO THOSE i HAVE BEEN FRIEND WITH FOR YEARS. I'M TLAKING 
ABOUT 4-18 YEARS OF LENGTH.  OR HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME 
OUTSIDE SCA. PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY LIKE ME, TEND TO HIDE WHO THEY REALLY ARE SO 
THEY AVOID BEING HURT. THING IS I HAVE TIRED TO NOT BE FAKE.. AT ANY TIME... 
I GENUINELY CARE ABOUT PEOPLE, HAVE A GOOD HEART, AND USE IT AT IT'S MAXIMUM 
POTIENTIAL, AND STILL WHEN I HAVE SHOWN BY LITTLE THINGS I CARE... AND 
MISCOMMUNICATE ON OTHER THINGS... THAT ARE BIGGER MANY HAVE JUDGED ME BY MY 
FAILURES... (AS IN SCA-GROUPS) THAN WHAT I HAVE DONE GOOD ON.

AGAIN,
   ALLIE

 >Allie

Lorraine

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