SC - Funny

[Stephen and Stephanie Dale]

STUFF IN THE FRIDGE
How do you know if it has gone bad?

EGGS
    When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is
    probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
    Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
    Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
    Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular
    cheese.
    Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any
    more spoiled than it is already.
    Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you
    realize you've never purchased that kind.

BREAD
    Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable
    "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
    Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good
    indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical
    laboratory experiment.

FLOUR
    Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

CANNED GOODS
    Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball
    should be disposed of...   Very carefully.

CARROTS
    A carrot that you can tie a 'clove hitch' in is not fresh.

RAISINS
    Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES
    Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy
    undergrowth.

CHIP DIP
    If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor,
    it has gone bad.

UNMARKED ITEMS:
    You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the
    reusable plastic container along with the food. Generally speaking,
    these plastic containers should not *burp* when you open them.

Couldn't resist, this one made me giggle.
Aislinn

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