SC - Recipe 7-Weekend of Wisdom

[LrdRas@aol.com]

For some unknown reason (and perhaps sickening from some dreadful disease)
"James F. Johnson" decided to take heraldic punning to new DEPTHS and wrote:
> snip (my details of heraldic feast)

>
> So, you're serving OOP chocolate as a heraldic subtlety because you
> cant?
>
> No reason why you can't bend the rules, as long as there are no sinister
> indent.
>
> How much are you going to charge them?
>
> I noted how you're making the person who requested an OOP dish 'fess up
> to it.
>
> It might be a pean, but if you serve it with a stylish vair, it would
> make all other subtleties pale by caparison.
>
> Running, dodging, laughing gleefully,
>
> Seumas

@@##$$%&#@# ARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (general howls of anguish)
No no no - IT'S catching, first Adamantius and NOW SEUMAS!!! :-)

In revenge, er reply, I answer with the following poem that I wrote for my last
feast which was umm "artistically" displayed by some of the fighters in the
Barony.  There was some points for general audience participation too!  For all
others who, umm have no love for Heraldic invention, I beg forgiveness and
suggest you stop reading here.  And I'm really sorry Papa Gunther as I wouldn't
have burdened the list with my heraldic poem but I was sorely provoked by
'punning herald', so . . . BLAME SEUMAS HE STARTED IT!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

MIOW !!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Lady Louisa Lypparde de Cattone, known as Lorix
 . . . A Lorix is a scottish wildcat, Lypparde de Cattone is Leopard of the Cats
- - Yes, this animal does bite!!!! :-)


****************************
Greetings Lords and Ladies all, I'm so glad you came today.
For I am here to talk about heraldic display.
Perhaps you might have noticed all the banners on the wall,
And mayhaps you are wondering what they might be for.
Perchance you've heard the heralds talk of incomprehensive stuff?
In herald-speak it means a lot, to most, it is just guff.
But worry not, explain it all I shall, in a short time.
And SOME [the fighters] herein, to illustrate, will perform for you a mime.

Now when devising your device listen well, so your choice you don't rue.
What is heraldry displaying?  Why its displaying YOU!
You might be called . . . Bear shoulders, so you might choose a bear.
Or, you could be called chairbreaker . . . and then you might choose a chair!
Now Heraldry was useful when in battle you meet the fray,
As you can distinguish friend from foe - wherever you may stray.
Thus, I spy . . . a NEWBIE fighter: oh rush to him to slay.
Ye gods, it's Duke Sir Elfin: oh quick RUN AWAY!

Heraldry can be complex and we only have a short time
And whilst the task is big, I'm somewhat limited in rhyme.
And so in view of this, at the basics only we will look.
For further information, please avail yourself of a book.
Now first we have the colours:  red, green, blue, black and purple.
More properly referred to as Gules, Azure, Vert, Sable and Purpure.
We also have the metals of “Argent” and “Or” (Silver ‘nd Gold)
So when you choose your tinctures, you can choose them plain or bold

Now a metal on a metal, you should NEVER do,
And a colour on a colour? . . . Well, you're not allowed that too!
So you can't have white?... ARGENT (well done) upon a field of gold?... OR.
Nor black on red, nor green on blue which is? . . .  VERT UPON AZURE!
Another tincture in heraldry, of which you may choose,
Is the furs:  such as ermine . . . but that is enough, lest I - you confuse.
And there are many ways that you can divide your field,
And to do this properly you must know the “points” of a shield.

The top:  is “chief”, the bottom: “base”.  “Sinister” “Dexter” are left/right
There are many more points, but that is enough for tonight.
Now, how you divide your shield is entirely your design,
But first, you must choose just how you'll draw the lines.
There is dove-tailed, potenty,  wavy and nebuly,
Rayonne, embattled, engrailed, invected, and ragully.
And, after drawing in the lines, you still must further choose
Just what you will put on the shield:  that is what “charge” you will use.

A “charge” is any object placed upon the shield
And you can choose almost anything a devious mind might yield.
But, if you use an animal, there is more that you must do.
You must choose a position and what it looks like too.
Now all things face to left, which is?  “Sinister”. Oh well done and correct.
This is the default position, but this is not in stone set.
If you want your “charge” to face towards the right.
You just announce its facing? “Dexter” so it has a different sight.

And so “a lion rampant”: upright and balancing on its back feet,
With the front right stretching up, and the front left hovering so fleet.
Or perhaps “a gryffon seagrent”, a special term for rampant gryffons.
Instead ITS front feet claw the air with exaggerated pretensions.
A “panther sejant” sits proudly upright:  I am panther hear me roar!
The “antelope sejant-erect” sits sedately, with its front feet off the floor.
Whilst a “tyger couchant”, lies with its legs outstretched and its tail in the
air.
A “stag lodged” lies also: its front foot twisted back
                                                                     and the
other lifted as if on a stair.

A “greyhound courant” is a running dog and “hare salient” a running rabbit.
A “stag trippant” almost skips along, its front foot raised a little a’bit.
Standing, facing forwards, is a placid “horse statant”,
While testing the air with a challenging dare is a dragon standing “combatant”.
A bird might fly with its wings outstretched, like a “dove volant”,
And a fish might leap from the water deep and dive like a “dolphin niant”.
A “raven close” stands his ground as he caws out to his ilk,
And an “eagle displayed” with his wings arrayed is out for all he can milk

Now all these “charges” have just looked to the front, although their limbs
might change.
But a “bear passant regardant”, he looks to the back which gives him a greater
range.
A “bull statant guardant” stands like the horse, but in a more bovinely manner.
He looks to the side, which means faces the front, with his tail held behind
like a banner.
But, if the detail in body to draw is a bore,
Never fear, you can choose less ‘stead of more.
Just draw the head of a beast who doth gaze
With its head “couped” “caboshed” or “erased”!

Something else which might enhance your device, is the use of divisions on a
field.
So instead of one colour, a multiple you may have if checky you use on your
shield.
Use lines to go down, or lines all across, or lines on a diagonal or angle.
Whatever you choose, may moderation not lose:  else your shield will all be
mangled.

Well I hope you now understand what heraldry is for.
Its uses and abuses, and the facets of heraldic lore.
Its intricacies amaze, the display is pleasing to the sight.
But I’ll quit while I'm ahead lest I lose you all from fright.
So come and be inspired to great heights of heraldic display
So those who meet you wayfaring, whensoever go you may.
Or for all those who may visit, or stay, in Ynys Fawr
Will know that THIS Barony is the best and brightest of them all!




============================================================================

To be removed from the SCA-Cooks mailing list, please send a message to
Majordomo at Ansteorra.ORG with the message body of "unsubscribe SCA-Cooks".

============================================================================