SC - Church Announcements (OT but funny)
Philip & Susan Troy
troy at asan.com
Sat Jul 8 19:12:23 PDT 2000
Hullo, the List!
Sign posted on the wall of the high school site for a recent East
Kingdom University:
"Peer confrontaton group meeting today! Attendance _will_ be taken!"
Still not sure who put that one up...
Adamantius
BalthazarBlack at aol.com wrote:
>
> List,
>
> I know it's way off topic and possibly out of period, but I know some of you
> will get a chuckle out of this, so I'm passing it along...
>
> Bal
>
> Actual Announcements Taken from Church Bulletins
>
> Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
>
> Thursday night--potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
>
> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
> community.
>
> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
> nursery downstairs.
>
> Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
> giving milk will please come early.
>
> Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will
> sing "Put Me In My Little Bed"
> accompanied by the pastor.
>
> Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
> Club. All wishing to become Little
> Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
>
> This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
> and lay an egg on the alter.
>
> The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the
> ladies will start (quietly) and the rest
> of the congregation will join in.
>
> The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and
> they may be seen in the church
> basement Friday.
>
> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
> Music will follow.
>
> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
> Hell?" Come early and listen to our
> choir practice.
>
> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian
> Church. Please use large double door at
> the side entrance.
>
> The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
> slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My
> Pledge--Up Yours."
>
> This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends
> of the church. Children will be
> baptized at both ends.
>
> On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the
> expenses of the new carpet. All those
> wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and
> get a piece of paper at the end of
> the service.
>
> We need volunteers for summer camp. There will be sinning and
> dancing.
>
> The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
> David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev.
> and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
>
> The Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
>
> Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
>
> Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
> several new members and to the
> deterioration of some older ones.
>
> Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
>
> The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
> sinning to join the choir.
>
> Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing
> for the girth of their first child.
>
> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
> recycled. Proceeds will be used to
> cripple children.
> ============================================================================
>
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- --
Phil & Susan Troy
troy at asan.com
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