SC - Church Announcements (OT but funny)
BalthazarBlack at aol.com
BalthazarBlack at aol.com
Sat Jul 8 09:14:16 PDT 2000
List,
I know it's way off topic and possibly out of period, but I know some of you
will get a chuckle out of this, so I'm passing it along...
Bal
Actual Announcements Taken from Church Bulletins
Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
Thursday night--potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will
sing "Put Me In My Little Bed"
accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become Little
Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
and lay an egg on the alter.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the
ladies will start (quietly) and the rest
of the congregation will join in.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and
they may be seen in the church
basement Friday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our
choir practice.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at
the side entrance.
The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My
Pledge--Up Yours."
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends
of the church. Children will be
baptized at both ends.
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the
expenses of the new carpet. All those
wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and
get a piece of paper at the end of
the service.
We need volunteers for summer camp. There will be sinning and
dancing.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev.
and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
The Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones.
Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning to join the choir.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing
for the girth of their first child.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to
cripple children.
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