[Sca-cooks] Haggis: [Fwd: News of the Weird]

[Philip W. Troy & Susan Troy]

Hullo. the list!

Having been sufficiently emboldened by the tongue discussion, I'm
forwarding this exchange between The News of the Weird Guy (a man whose
journalistic principles I had always admired until now) and myself. I
don't feel I was argumentative or otherwise devoid of mainstream
character traits, and I find it ironic that a man who earns his living
broadcasting what he regards as peculiar behavior should behave in a way
specifically designed to discourage individualism in others, and
indicating an exceptionally narrow-minded streak.

Mr. Shepherd had previously compiled/archived a news story concerning a
woman (in England, I believe) who had, IIRC, allegedly attacked a
neighbor with a haggis. The report included the information that haggis
is characteristically gray, which is where I came into it.

I suppose the fact that Shepherd responded in a timely and [marginally]
friendly fashion is a point in his favor, but by the logic he employs,
we should all be waking up in bathtubs full of ice, next to plates full
of Niemann-Marcus cookies, sans one kidney, commiserating with Mikey of
the pop-rock-exploded abdomen, since all of these story elements have
made their way into, and past the editors, of major news "organs" (and
very appropriate, too, for a discussion on haggis). While I don't
consider myself a real authority on the subject, I will state that none
of the dozens of haggises I have encountered myself have been gray, and
I would pit my experience against the non-experience of the
urban-legend-spreading journalists any day, canned-haggis aberrations notwithstanding.

Hmmph! Harumph!

Adamantius

weird wrote:
>
> Philip Troy,
>         Almost as disturbing as the very existence of haggis is debating
> the proper color.  As to "gray," I neither investigate these things nor
> accept the word of anyone who is not a professional journalist, edited by
> professional journalists, writing for mainstream news organs (which doesn't
> mean they don't make mistakes but does mean that the likelihood of their
> having invented a "fact," such as that the color of a disagreeable dish
> that they may never have seen is gray, is around one in a megazillion).
> Thus, at this point, I still suspect the operant explanation here is not my
> source's having made it up but my reader's having not been out and about
> enough, or simply being a brown-haggis chauvinist.  But, as a matter of
> fact, since I have dealt with haggis before (in writing, not in eating), I
> have heard from many readers on the qualities on haggis, and I can tell you
> that the only color I can recall being mentioned by any of them was the
> color gray.  I should go back and look up their addresses and have you and
> they argue it out:  >That< would be a great News of the Weird story!
> Cheers,
> Chuck Shepherd
>
> Message text written by "Philip W. Troy & Susan Troy"
> >I realize that in this particular venue it is difficult to check on the
> veracity of all the stories that come your way. While, overall, I agree
> with the sentiments expressed and implied in connection with your haggis
> hate crime report, I think you may need to reconsider some of your
> logic.
>
> Have you ever seen a haggis? Being made, in part, from lungs, they are a
> characteristically dark russet brown. It makes as much sense to claim
> that haggis is grey as to claim that black puddings are grey. I confess,
> though, that there are a fair number of industrial pseudo-haggisses (not
> haggi, huh?) produced and sold in Scotland, such as tinned haggis (can
> microwavable haggis be far behind?), and perhaps such products are a
> little less highly colored than one would want.
>
> I guess my point is that if you're going to defame haggis as a bad dish
> (which it is not, although sometimes bad cooks prepare it; as a good
> cook I find this distinction essential), it would be wise to defame it
> for the right reasons: the liver, lungs, heart, and stomach are probably
> the biggest draw on the haggis hate-parade.
>
> Hey, the U.S. has a similar dish called scrapple, and we're prepared to
> throw stones at haggis? And then we have Oscar Meyer bologna, made of
> far more frightening ingredients than haggis ever contained.
> <


--
Phil & Susan Troy

troy at asan.com

"It was so blatant that Roger threw at him.  Clemens gets away with
things that get other people thrown out of games.  As long as they
let him get away with it, it's going  to continue." -- Joe Torre, 9/98