[Sca-cooks] No Sh*t, there THEY were in MY kitchen

[Siegfried Heydrich]

     I used to work at a resort hotel that had a raccoon that lived in the
bushes by the Tiki bar. We had hosted a wedding on the patio, and when I was
breaking down, I looked over as the raccoon just walked past me on the rail.
This was not even 2 feet away from me. He started to climb into the trash
can, so I smacked his butt and yelled at him to beat it. He drew back with a
VERY surprised expression on his face, sat down, and proceeded to cuss me
out in seriously rank raccoonese.
    This just irritated me (look, I'M the primate around here, right?), so I
hauled off and bitchslapped the obnoxious ursoid while loudly offering to
serve him up as tomorrow's special.  The 'coon fell over backwards and took
off, loudly threatening to turn me in to PETA (I guess), and I went back to
breaking down. However, I had forgotten about the guests . . .
    When I looked around, there were about 50 people looking at me in pure,
absolute shock. I looked back at them, and said "ah, don't worry about it,
I'll buy him a beer tomorrow and we'll get over it, he's a regular." The
expressions on their faces were priceless . . .

    Sieggy

----- Original Message -----
> Hehehehe,
>
> Reminds me of the family of racoons that would invade the kitchen nightly
> in search of edible morsels.  This was at a holiday camp for children, up
> in Algonquin Park, in Ontario.  We'd come in the morning and have to fight
> for our precious ground.  Very early on, one of my assistants suggested we
> catch them and cook them.  While I wasn't opposed to the idea, the camp
> director was very much opposed, and we never did anything else than catch
> and release.  <shrug>
>
> Nicolas