[Sca-cooks] weird idea... medieval restaurant

[Kirrily Robert]

So there I was, having a quiet dinner with a book in a local
Korean/Japanese restaurant.  Unfortuneately it was Friday night, so
there was a loud, noisy group at the table next to me.  All through
their meal they were going "ewww, is that raw fish?" and "This looks
yucky" and "I don't like spicy food" and other such things.  I found
myself thinking, "Why on earth did you choose this restaurant, you
idiots!?!"

Then my brain took a lateral turn, and I realised it was the same thing
I tend to think when I hear about people wanting "meat and potatoes" at
an SCA feast, or when I see them totally ignoring our very reasonable
pre-1600 costume requirements: "If you don't want to be medieval, why
did you come here?!?"

Then my wires got crossed, and I started to think about how the group
sitting at the next table would cope if the restaurant served medieval
food.  And *then* I started thinking about what a medieval restaurant
would be like to run.  I'm not talking about a "theme" restaurant with
wenches and jesters and silly floor-shows, I'm talking about a
restaurant that focusses on good food but just happens to serve stuff
from medieval recipes.

How would you run it?  What food would you serve?  What difficulties
would you expect to face?

I think if I were doing it, I'd decorate the place somewhat medievally
but not pretend to be a medieval castle in any way.  Plain painted walls
or perhaps a subtle medieval-oid pattern (fleur-de-lys?) with prints
from illuminated manuscripts on the walls, and 14th-15th century art
music playing softly in the background.  Perhaps some gothic arches to
the windows and doors, but only if I could do it well.

The menu would be more of a booklet than a card.  It would be
computer-printed on nice paper, with a little flourish of
calligraphy-style fonts but nothing over the top, and would be ordered
like a modern menu: appetizers and finger food, salads and vegetables,
seafood, meat dishes, desserts.  Each item on the menu would be given
a name in the medieval form, but translated and with spelling modernised:
"Sallet of Spinage" becomes "Salad of Spinach", "Funges" becomes
"Mushrooms".  Underneath each item would be a brief description
including the source of the recipe: "Mushrooms and leeks in beef broth,
with a blend of medieval spices called "powder forte", taken from a 14th
century English cookbook." Full recipes/redactions would be available on
request.

I'd choose a mixture of dishes to appeal to slightly adventurous modern
tastes, but nothing that would revolt most diners.  Quail would be fine,
for instance, but most offal would be right out.

The menu would suggest that diners choose a mixture of dishes to share
and taste, rather than one dish per person.  Dishes would be served to
the centre of the table, and each diner would have a collection of
dishes and modern cutlery (including forks) to eat with.

The servers would not be dressed as serving wenches etc.  They'd just
wear normal modern clothes, or *possibly* something low-key medieval.

A range of medieval-style alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks would
be available, as well as (sigh) the usual modern suspects like
coca-cola.

Near the door I'd have a noticeboard and/or stand for flyers and
pamphlets, and let any local SCA or medieval group put their notices
there :)

I imagine one of the problems with starting up a restaurant like that
would be differentiating oneself from the theme restaurants with the
wenches and the jesters and so on.  I guess once you'd had a review or
two in the local newspapers and word got out, people would figure it
out.

So now I'm interested in what other people would do.  If someone
approached you to set up a restaurant like this, how would you do it and
what would you put on the menu?  Remember you have to appeal to the
general public.

K.