[Sca-cooks] Signs That You're A Re-enactor/Re-Creationist

[micaylah]

Some of these are old, and some I haven't seen it yet, and are fairly
amusing.. I pilfered this off the Skraeling Althing List.

Micaylah

Obligatory food content: Im in the middle of cooking for War Practice
this weekend.

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Signs That You're A Re-enactor/Re-Creationist.

You see the riot police on TV and start critiquing their shield wall.

People greet you on Monday morning with "So did you kill anyone this
weekend?".

You can't use your dining table because it's covered in half finished
mail.

You have a table specifically for making mail so it doesn't take up your
dining table.

You suffer from post-battle depression.

You know every line in Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail by heart.

Bad fighting and/or costuming has ruined an otherwise decent movie for
you.

You're a burly guy who looks like a Hell's Angel, but you do embroidery
in public.

At a formal dinner party, you politely grab your sleeve to keep it from
dropping in the food, only to realise you're wearing a suit.

You can eat equally well with a dagger or a fork.

You've decorated a cake in Celtic knotwork.

You return to work after a weekend event, only to find you left all your
money in your belt pouch.

You sometimes wear your jackets closed only by the top button and
without putting your arms through the sleeves.

After a party you ask yourself "Hm. Now where are my clothes?" and
you're stone sober and fully dressed.

You're watching what's been billed as the most romantic scene in any
movie ever, and all you can think is: What kind of armour is he wearing?

You can and do curse in Gaelic, but you aren't Scottish

You have more kit than clothes and the kit is in better condition.

You visit a period castle, notice the draperies and bedspreads, and
think of what lovely clothing they would make.

You visit a period castle, museum, historical site, etc. and you can
spot the mistakes in the tour guide's lecture.

You're male and your girlfriend, not you, is the bored one being dragged
from fabric/clothing store to fabric/clothing store.

The lady at the fabric store asks your girlfriend if she needs help and
she points at you saying, "He's the one looking for material".

You get a Christmas card in the mail and you look at the shepherds and
background figures with a magnifying glass to see the costuming details.

Your kid gets a cardboard punch out castle and you take it away from him
and put it together yourself, point out the flaws in the architecture,
and based on your assessment of the flaws in the architecture, figure
out how you could, hypothetically capture it if it was a real castle.

Your kid gets a bunch of plastic knights you swipe them to outline your
tactical ideas for the next war/fighter practice with your friends.

You hide the really awful costume references in the stacks at the
library, so future costumers won't be led astray. Or, you write
criticisms in the margins of said awful costume references.

You watch Henry V (or the Zefferelli Romeo and Juliet) over, and over,
and over, again - for the costumes/fighting scenes.

Your immediate family consists of only two rather small, thin people,
but you justify your purchase of a full-sized van/pickup truck saying
"We'll need the extra space for events!"

You're annoyed because the armour and/or the costumes at the museum
aren't displayed so that you can get a good photograph of the
back/insides.

Your reference section on your field of interest is better than the
equivalent section in the local library.

Your idea of a pack lunch is mince-meat pie, cold mulled cider and
wafers left over from the feast the week-end before.

Your hobby takes more of your time than your job.

You name your pets after obscure historical figures.

You name your children after obscure historical figures.

People assume that you're an exchange student/recent immigrant because
they hear people calling you by the most outlandish names.