[Sca-cooks] The Tofurky Report

[lilinah at earthlink.net]

Just because we thought you'd like to know...

OK, so sad, cold, and lonely me went to the health food store last
night and bought this Tofurky ("A Delicious Vegetarian Roast," touts
the box, "100 per cent Vegan" - well as far as i could tell it was
NOT made out of vegans - probably would have tasted better...) and
its partner, Tofurky "Giblet" Gravy, products of Turtle Island Foods
http://www.tofurky.com
My daughter, who was elsewhere, is a vegetarian, considering becoming
a vegan, and i figured i might as well try it out for the next time
she's around.

As a former vegetarian, i don't expect vegetarian "meat substitutes"
to taste like the meat they're pretending to be. Good thing, too, as
this concoction of "vital wheat gluten", tofu, white beans, garbanzo
beans, and other stuff didn't taste like or have the texture of
turkey at all. That wouldn't have been so bad if it had been tastier.
I *love* the seitan (White Wave brand) i get. I even enjoy the
"Unribs" (seitan strips in Bar-B-Q sauce) and "UnChicken Breast"
(seitan wrapped in yuba) i buy (some other brand).

Following the package directions, I put the Tofurky on some aluminum
foil in a small pan (actually, i used a cake pan). Then i dotted some
butter under it and on top of it, 'cuz i like butter. Then i wrapped
it and baked it according to directions (350 degrees F. for 45 min.).
It appeared to be wrapped in yuba to simulate skin (yuba is a thin,
rubbery soy food product - it's pretty good, despite my description).
The yuba on the bottom browned and crisped nicely, almost like real
turkey skin. The Tofurky "meat", however, was far from "fork tender".
It was tough, it was bland, but it was ok. I'd consider getting
again, if only i could get it without the stuffing...

Yes, it was pre-stuffed. And the stuffing... Yuck! Ingredients for
the Stuffing sound good: brown rice, wild rice, bread cubes, onion,
celery, natural vegetarian seasoning, canola oil, herbs and spices.
You could have fooled me. Sure didn't taste like there were any
vegetarians in it (ok, so the joke is getting stale...). It was a
gooey, texture-less mess, the boring beige color of both the tofurky
and the dressing relieved by the occasional dark fleck i suppose were
the remains of wild rice. The savory seasonings were dominated (with
leather, chains, and whips) by sage. I couldn't taste much else in
it. I don't mind sage, but i like to taste other things, too. It was
really icky, pasty, gummy...

The Tofurky "Giblet" Gravy (that's how it's written on the package)
was really weird. I followed the directions: "Heat over slow heat,
stirring occasionally." It sat in the pan, a lump of spongy stuff
with liquid gradually seeping out. So i mashed it with a fork. The
lumps just sat there, never liquefying. So i got out a whisk. Bet the
heck out of it. At least i got the lumps out and made it into a thick
paste. It warmed up and tasted fine, actually sort of like turkey
gravy, but i sure had to work at it. I'd consider getting it again,
but i'd probably just as soon make my own. (Ingredients [slightly
edited]: water, unbleached flour, canola oil, Tofurky Giblets (water,
soybeans) white beans, garbanzo beans, natural vegetarian flavor,
canola oil, shoyu, spices, lemon juice, calcium lactate, salt],
natural vegetarian flavor, spices, fructose, sea salt, onion powder,
garlic powder, autolyzed yeast, caramel color, non-dairy lactic acid
culture.)

The Tofurky box says it makes 4 servings. I think this is accurate.
If you are an omnivore with vegetarian or vegan friends and you don't
think you have enough other dishes in your Thanksgiving or Christmas
meal to feed them, this is worth getting. It was not horrible (well,
except maybe the stuffing). It is frozen at the store and the box
says to thaw in the refrigerator 24 to 48 hours before cooking. I
left it out overnight (there's no heat here - it's in the mid-60's
indoors) and it was thawed by mid-morning. Once thawed, it baked as
described, so it's pretty quick and easy. It looks like a turkey
breast and slices nicely. The gravy was tasty. Not a complete waste.
And i'm not sorry i got it. The larger package (6 or more servings)
includes tempeh (another soy food, this time from Indonesia)
"drumsticks", and tofu jerky wishbones...

Next time i'll try the "Now and Zen" brand "Unturkey", from a local
San Francisco Vegan bakery...

As for accompaniments...
I made my own improvised cranberry sauce that i'm really happy with:

1 bag cranberries (not sure, maybe 12 oz - i can't find the bag now)
1 Valencia Orange
1-1/2 cups granulated white sugar
1 cup water
generous pinch powdered cinnamon
pinch powdered clove
pinch grated nutmeg
couple pinches powdered ginger
A whole lotta whole pecan halves

I dumped the cranberries from the bag into a 1-1/2 or 2 qt. saucepan,
added sugar and water (i used an empty 8-oz yogurt container as a
measuring cup), and turned the fire on high to bring it to a boil.

While the pot was on the fire i started cutting up the orange, having
no equipment but a knife. I cut the orange in half, then quarters,
then cut each piece in half, then half again. I made 4 to 5 cuts
through the juicy flesh and scraped it into the pot. Then i began
making cuts into the rind so that i made tiny little "match heads".
There was no cutting board where i was, so i just sliced it over the
pot.

As the liquid in the pot was coming to a boil, I stirred it several
times. It boiled long before i was finished cutting the orange. I
turned the fire down to a simmer and stirred roughly, mashing the
cranberries a bit.

Once i'd finally gotten all the orange into the pot, i reduced the
fire to low. Then i added the spices. I let it warm a bit to release
the spices, then turned off the fire to let it cool. After a while, i
put it into the refrigerator to cool further.

Shortly before serving, i put the pecan halves on some foil under the
broiler to toast, checking frequently to make sure they didn't burn
(the oven was at 350, roasting my "Tofurky"). Once toasted, i let
them cool a little. After all the food was ready, i tossed them over
the cranberry relish in my dish.

The relish was only very slightly spicy - i didn't want it to compete
with the rest of my meal or the pumpkin pie at the end - but i think
i'd have liked more ginger in it. I think candied ginger would be
great in this... maybe next time... It was beautiful, translucent,
slightly jellied, with well-cooked bits of orange meat and tiny soft
bits of candied rind. Mmm-mmm-mmm.

I also pan cooked some "mixed field greens" in butter until soft and
tender, put them on my plate and sprinkled them with a little salt. I
like greens. I'd have preferred some soy sauce, but guess my friend
doesn't have any - i sure couldn't find any. (i'm at a friend's while
he's in SoCal visiting his mom)

I had three slices of Tofurky and gravy, there was only one serving
of greens (they sure cook down), and i had one serving of cranberry
sauce - i may pour some over my pumpkin pie. Oh, yes, time to heat
that up in the oven (also purchased at the health food store - made
with real butter).

I hope you're all eating well.

Anahita,
thankful for such a swell bunch of friends as you guys and guyettes