[Sca-cooks] A challenge to Duke Cariadoc

[Richard Kappler]

(aww jeez...I just know, no matter what happens I'm gonna get my ass kicked
out of this deal....)

ahem...

Unto His Grace, Duke Sir Cariadoc of the Bow, King of legend, Author of
renown, Voice of authenticity, Servant of the One True Dream, .... period
cook of questionable veracity (please please please don't kill the
messenger) are brought greetings and a challenge by that poor miserable
wretch, Robert Godefelaugh, known as Puck the meek and ever so quiet,
Seneschal of Trollhaven, Servant of the Cute Little Red Haired Girl, Feeder
and Belly Scratcher of the Big Yellow Dog, Apprentice to Master Gideanus
Tacitus Adamantius the infallible.

Your Grace, it is by order of my Master and with his voice that I speak and
as such so should you cringe at the mightiness of His righteousness, cower
in the heat of His anger, indeed cry out in anguish as you are pierced by
the arrow of His Truth.  Your Grace, it is the opinion of my Master that you
have become a shell of the man you once were, that you have forgotten the
shining jewel that is the Kingdom of the East wherein you once ruled as King
and that you have abandoned the one true path of authenticity.

In light of this sad, pitiful state of affairs doth my Master challenge you,
through myself his humble and terrified apprentice and in front of these men
and women of honour, upon the field of battle, that you may once and for all
time renounce your foul heresy and return to the true path or be cast into
eternal culinary damnation.  The prevarications and falsehoods that you
offered up during the Great Kuskyknowle Debate have evilly slunk into the
hallowed halls of legend pretending to be the truth and must be allowed to
stand forth as truth no more!  I say again you are challenged Sir, to meet
my Master Adamantius in the kitchens of honour at the East Kingdom 12th
Night in the Canton of Trollhaven 92 days hence.

Defend your position Sir!  Else renounce the kuskyknowle heresies you have
heretofore foisted upon this honorable forum and foist (?) them never again!

Thus ends my message and, hopefully, my duty in this matter of honour.

running like hell, Puck