[Sca-cooks] The Great Cuskeynole Duel and dialect

[Philip & Susan Troy]

Richard Kappler wrote:


> 'snot me man, I am merely the voice of my Master.


" 'Tis the voice of my Master, I heard him declare,
He done toast me too brown, I must butter my hair..."

> I can think of two
> reasons why you're on the Dream Team list for 12th Night though.  First off,
> methinks the rotten old bastige, I mean my kind and merciful Master, in his
> heart of hearts dint really want to do this, but instead of doing the Nancy
> Reagan, he decided to set me upon what he felt was an impossible quest so it
> would be my fault (see appropriate files in the Florilegium under
> "Curmudgeonly Laurel/poor abused Apprentice relationships.")  He keeps
> forgetting what happens when one underestimates a Puck.  Secondly Stefan,
> you, like Adamantius, consistently refuse to recognize how important you are
> to this list and the field of medieval cookery.  Those are just my opinions
> mind you.  He didn't tell me why he wanted each person on the list, he just
> said "get these people or get someone else to do the feast."


All right, enough. I'm gonna come clean here before my apprentice starts posting my credit card numbers or something (and the real laugh will be on anybody trying to buy anything more than $1.49 with them).


My reluctance to take part in this discussion with any degree of
seriousness has been due to one main factor: any proposed "dream team"
of known world cooks must, by definition, exclude more cooks than it
includes, and I really didn't want to offend anybody. It's like the
mostly-SCA-community wedding I worked this weekend: I had the time, and
was an ideal candidate to cook for it because neither I nor anybody in
my family were invited. This wasn't a problem, truly. I remember all the
people I wanted to invite to my own wedding, and couldn't, simply
because of the physical limits on room, money, etc. The only problem for
me was having to explain, over and over again, where my wife and son
were, and why they weren't there. It was truly amazing the number of
people who saw me emerge from the kitchen wearing an apron and carrying
trays, and said, "Oh, hello, I didn't know you were here, where are
Susan and Brennan?"

Here in the _real_ world, I was asked to cook for this event, and the only real conditions I stipulated for accepting the job were that I don't own a car, which, along with less-than-perfect eyesight and hearing and a deep hatred of driving, would necessitate the schlepping of myself and a lot of other stuff up to Newport from New York City. The other condition was that I was going to be an old bastige, in connection with which I can only say one is only as young an old bastige as one feels.


As far as inviting people from this list is concerned, well, it's like
this. We talked a bit about compatible personalities, but mostly it was
a very nebulous, hey, wouldn't it be cool if we could get so-and-so to
come... one thing I do think Puck and I have in common is the idea that
people don't try to do more impossible things only because they're,
well, impossible, and it's far better to try to do what you want to do,
and find out if it really is impossible or not. (This is where my lady
wife would begin singing Broadway show tunes about impossible things
happening every day, while I'd be more likely to remember Peter Lorre in
an old horror movie saying, "Impossible??? Napoleon said that word was
not French!") Hence Puck's attempt to get some people from the Cooks'
List up to his event.

Another aspect to consider is that, unfortunately and for no very good
or very simple reason, a very few folks in my group don't get along too
well with a very few of the people in Puck's. Real Hatfield-McCoy /
Montague-Capulet stuff, to hear some people tell it. Probably some
imagined snub back in the reign of Snulbug and Brunhilde back in A.S.
Negative 412. I think this is largely exaggerated, but it was enough to
diminish, originally, the amount of local support for the idea in my
local group. It'll be their loss, as with anybody up in Puck's group who
isn't interested in participating in what's looking like a really good
event. And as it happens, we talked a bit about it this weekend, and I
got a fair amount of people from my group saying it sounded fun and
they'd surely try to be there.

Anyway, my Evil Plot is to change the way people look at large events as
a way to exhaust the resources and populace of one small, lucky [???]
group, and to get as many cooks as possible to cross borders, which are
mostly very artificial anyway. Ultimately I'd like to see a group of
cooks errant who'll meet occasionally for idea exchange and edumacashun,
then go out and spread the light of Civilization and put down the
barbarism frozen rolled chicken breasts stuffed with apples and raisins.
We would all be equals, each as good and effective as any other in the
name of the group, and we could have this round table, see, and...

Well, okay, people have been thinking me as just a bit too Julius Caesar
lately, and not enough of an Arthurian, anyway...


>>>P.S. Puck, you're toast.
>>>
>>Aw, Adamantius, I think you can surely do better than this. Toast is
>>so easy to do. Even I can make toast. I would expect something really
>>wa-zoo from you.
>>
>
> Thanks Stefan, like I really needed that kind of help in this matter....
> BTW, up heah in the North, wazoo apparently has a different meaning than
> down theah.  Up heah it refers to a part of the anatomy....

Maybe that's why he's expecting something really wazoo... ;  )

Adamantius, old bastige
--
Phil & Susan Troy

troy at asan.com

"It was so blatant that Roger threw at him.  Clemens gets away with
things that get other people thrown out of games.  As long as they
let him get away with it, it's going  to continue." -- Joe Torre, 9/98