[Sca-cooks] A little diversion

[Nicolas Steenhout]

Ok, I bite... :-)

 > Take the following test and determine your personal level of
culinary
 > geekdom.
 > Do you, or Have you ever:
 >
 > 1. Lectured complete strangers on the uses of unfamiliar foodstuffs?

Yeah, and also been known to correct butchers and fish mongers at the local
Jewel when they say something stoopid...

 > 2. Know what "rocket" is?

Isn't that when you eat too much habanero sauce? :-)  Seriously though,
yeah, hard not to after a few years in the restaurant biz...

 > 3. Sneered at the lazy yuppie scum who buy premade polenta at the
 > supermarket?

Contrary to what someone said, you *can* buy premade polenta.  It's really
rather disgusting, I'll prepare my own thank you, grilled, with a few wild
mushroom, garlic, olive oil....  Then convince grandpa that he should try
it, and "he ain't eatin' none of that stranger's food", until I tell him,
"da, it's like grits"...  Well, it's not, but it worked ;-)

 > 4. Grown your own herbs?

Don't have a garden, but...  I grow bonsai...  Rosemary makes wonderful
bonsai.  So does oregano. :-)

 > 5. Grown your own vegetables?

I am vegetable enough :-)  Again, no space to grow anything, though I used
to at my dad's farm...  does it count?

 > 6. Grown your own wheat?

Nope, again, space question :-)

 > 7. Foregone buying ice cream because the soup bones have taken over
your
 > freezer?

Errr, no, I don't BUY ice cream, I make my own as I need it...  Last try
was a caramel and honey ice cream.  However, bones, we collect, yes, thank
you very much :-)

 > 8. Made your own demi-glace?

Now, are you talking demi-glace, which is the Espagnole sauce to its
supreme degree of perfection (see Gringoire & Saulnier, and Escoffier), or
are you talking a severely reduced brown stock?  In either case,
yes...  Can't see why anyone wouldn't...

 > 9. Own five mortars and pestles, but can't find your pepper mill?

No mortars nor pestles, neither a pepper mill...  Call me a heretic, I'm
lazy.  Better thing to do that crunch that whole stuff...  I do, however,
own 4 electric coffee grinders that have never seen coffee.

 > 10. Consider your mother a heretic for buying premade pie crusts?

She wouldn't buy premade crust.  She wouldn't make pie...  She can't make
jell-o to save her life!!!  She can cook though, real well, it's just
anything related to baking and/or deserts just won't sink through for her!

 > 11. Subscribe to seven cooking magazines but mooch newspapers from
your work colleages

I don't generally read newspapers, it's against my principles...  The rest,
I go online to gather up :-)

 > 12. Stayed up late reading Escoffier, Brillat-Savarin, or Julia
Child?

Ayup.

 > 13. Say to yourself, "I can cook better than this" at a trendy
restaurant?

Most often, yeah...  I tend not to do the "trendy" places, unless they
really are top notch...  I get so disapointed paying lots of money for a
meal that's not worth it.  But...  I don't mind dropping $500 on a meal for
two if it's really worth it :-)

 > 14. Know the difference between a china cap and a chinoise?

Ayup.  And don't let me catch up mistreating the Chinois, at the price they
are, it's your hide hanging in the balance...  Actually used to keep
Chinois under lock and key!

 > 15. Fantasize about meeting Charles Ranhofer, James Beard, or

I've met and cooked for Bocuse...  Does that count?  I was doing a brief
work exchange, working in Brussels, and he happened to be a friend of Chef,
came by.  I had no clue until he walked in the kitchen...  Nearly fell on
my ass...

 > 16. Brag about your 10-inch Dick?

Arumph, not going there!

 > 17. Know what the last question was about, you vulgar little
creature, you?

See #16...
 > 18. Have a special carrying case for your knives, sharpening steel,

Actually, two of them, one for the quick outing, one for a more involved
cooking experience :-)  Roll, and rubbermaid toolbox.

 > 19. Spend hours in the "Used Equipment" section of the restaurant
supply store?

<sigh>

 > 20. Kept a sourdough starter alive for more than two months?

No, actually, I haven't.  But then, I only play with bread, I am not
serious about the thing.

Here are a couple somewhat easy questions extra:

a)  Can you name three (or more) items found in music bands that make their
way in the kitchen?
b)  Which doesn't belong:  Black pepper, white pepper, pink pepper, or
green pepper?
and
c)  What actually does go in SPAM??? <evil grin>

Muiredach mac Loloig
Rokkehealden Shire
aka
Nicolas Steenhout
"You must deal with me as I think of myself" J. Hockenberry