[Sca-cooks] More feast humor
Morgana Abbey
morgana.abbey at juno.com
Thu May 2 15:35:21 PDT 2002
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We compiled this list at a particularly lackluster feast. The head cook
and autocrat were having territory issues--to say the least.
Morgana
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Top 16 Signs That the Feast is Going to be Bad
16> High table went offboard.
15> Feast-o-crat was seen dismantling the kitchen's smoke alarm.
14> The Pizza guy shows up with a delivery for "His Majesty."
13> Rats can be seen fleeing the kitchen.
12> "Well, the oven had a 'clean' setting, so......"
11> The kitchen staff brown-bags it; the Feast-o-crat is going
outboard.
10> Hazmat reports for clean-up.
9> "I don't know what you're complaining about; Botulism is period."
8> The second remove is a barf bag.
7> The site was picked because it had a handy vomitorium.
6> Offboard menu: Wonderbread and Pam.
5> "Meat on Trenchers" turns out to be "Spam on Triscuits."
4> First remove looks suspiciously like the last remove from the previous
event.
3> Nautical theme is enhanced by the addition of Zebra Mussels.
2> Subtlety goes "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz."
and the Number 1 Sign That the Feast is Going to be Bad
1> The SPCA truck is seen at the kitchen door.
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