King/Queen of clumsy WAS:RE: [Sca-cooks] Meadshtufff OT

[Daniel Myers]

Just make sure that if she ever takes Chemistry in school to teach her
that the way to identify a beaker of liquid is NOT to hold it under
your nose and take a big sniff.


On Monday, September 9, 2002, at 12:29 PM, Isabella di Giovanni wrote:

> --
> [ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]
>
> "Oh, my word" (direct quote from my 5 year old grand-daughter when I
> read this to her).
>
> I think you may have me beat.
> Isabella
>  Daniel Myers wrote:I don't know, I may be in the running for this one
> too.
>
> Let's see ... three stitches in left leg (broken glass jar), seven
> stitches in chin (cupboard door), three stitches in chin (tripped over
> own feet and cut chin on a bare, clean kitchen floor), three stitches
> in forehead (stood up under low balcony), three stitches in back of
> head (tripped over dog, fell down stairs and hit door at bottom - egg
> shell in hand at the time was unbroken), one mildly broken tailbone
> (bounced on stairs), and I've walked into countless door jambs, doors,
> tables, railings, and the like.
>
> On the chemical side of things, I've dumped a quart of acetone on my
> hands, and snorted the fumes from a beaker of nitric acid (took a
> couple of days before I could smell anything). The phosphoric acid
> vapor was worse than the nitric acid fumes though - it took weeks for
> my sense of smell to return after that.
>
> My favorite stupid injury was when I opened a refrigerator door into my
> own face. It wouldn't have been quite so embarrassing if I hadn't been
> conversing with an attractive young lady, and if there hadn't been one
> of those magnetic church keys stuck to the door with it's sharp point
> positioned just so that it would embed itself in my eyebrow. It's
> really hard to look suave with blood dripping down your face because
> you've just pummeled yourself with a major appliance.
>
>
> On Monday, September 9, 2002, at 12:33 AM, Isabella di Giovanni wrote:
>>
>> My Lord Drakey (I really haven't figured out how I should correctly
>> address you),
>>
>> I have taken/taught martial arts (Tae Kwon Do) for almost 20 years,
>> 2nd degree black belt. On the dojang floor I have never hurt myself
>> (except for gettin pi**ed off for not breaking a board with a kick and
>> instead, hitting it with my fist...breaking the board and several
>> little itsy bitsy tiny bones in my hand). However, off the floor, I
>> think I would challenge you for King/Queen of clumsy.
>>
>> I can, and have, tripped on a crack in the sidewalk, had my cats run
>> in front of me and trip me, fallen down and up stairs (and there are 3
>> flights in my house alone), mixed ammonia and bleach and inhaled the
>> fumes...however in my own defense, I WAS ONLY 9,, cut my finger (11
>> stitches), trying to slice potatoes on one of those tomato slicers
>> that you lay the tomato down on and push, turned a corner and kicked
>> my Kirby, dislocating 2 toes. That's just for starters.
>>
>> Isabella
>> "Jones, Craig" wrote: > > Accidentally drunk bleach (great for
>> removing plaque),
>>>> Eaten Hemlock (puts lead in your pencil),
>>>> Dropped a new 50L glass fermenter,
>>>> Passed out in the bathroom sterilizing bottles,
>>>> Developed an acute yeast allergy,
>>>> Almost blown up a former Queen of the West,
>>>> Blown up a 60L plastic fermenter,
>>>> Set the garden on fire (clearing out a batch of dried Borage)
>>>> And there's more, I just can't remember them all...
>>>
>>> God, Drake, no wonder a woman doesn't want to marry you, you are a
>> walking
>>> accident that she has to lovingly put you back together again, and
>> again,
>>> and again. Kidding, Aurore
>>
>> Sorry? I've think you've got the wrong end of the stickie here... I
>> have been separated for 11 1/2 months and I:
>>
>> a) Have no current intentions of getting married to anyone quite yet,
>> b) While haven't been beating them off with a stick, I have had plenty
>> of
>> offers since from some very, very lovely ladies. But it's important
>> for
>> me to develop for awhile longer as a single person. Still broken,
>> will
>> take a while to heal yet. I am keeping happy and healthy and have a
>> lot
>> of friends (old and new) helping me with this.
>> c) Yes, I am looking for someone who can offer me tender ministrations
>> after
>> cutting my thumb open while I've been cooking them that gorgeous lamb
>>
>> tagine...
>> d) Remember that these accidents are over an 8 year period. I am a
>> little
>> clumsy and rash but not the one-man demolition crew I'm portrayed to
>> be... Not quite... :)~

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  Edouard Who Is Not Lainie's Edouard (Daniel Myers)
  http://www.medievalcookery.com/
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