King/Queen of clumsy WAS:RE: [Sca-cooks] Meadshtufff OT

[Isabella di Giovanni]

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"Oh, my word" (direct quote from my 5 year old grand-daughter when I read this to her).

I think you may have me beat.
Isabella
 Daniel Myers wrote:I don't know, I may be in the running for this one too.

Let's see ... three stitches in left leg (broken glass jar), seven
stitches in chin (cupboard door), three stitches in chin (tripped over
own feet and cut chin on a bare, clean kitchen floor), three stitches
in forehead (stood up under low balcony), three stitches in back of
head (tripped over dog, fell down stairs and hit door at bottom - egg
shell in hand at the time was unbroken), one mildly broken tailbone
(bounced on stairs), and I've walked into countless door jambs, doors,
tables, railings, and the like.

On the chemical side of things, I've dumped a quart of acetone on my
hands, and snorted the fumes from a beaker of nitric acid (took a
couple of days before I could smell anything). The phosphoric acid
vapor was worse than the nitric acid fumes though - it took weeks for
my sense of smell to return after that.

My favorite stupid injury was when I opened a refrigerator door into my
own face. It wouldn't have been quite so embarrassing if I hadn't been
conversing with an attractive young lady, and if there hadn't been one
of those magnetic church keys stuck to the door with it's sharp point
positioned just so that it would embed itself in my eyebrow. It's
really hard to look suave with blood dripping down your face because
you've just pummeled yourself with a major appliance.


On Monday, September 9, 2002, at 12:33 AM, Isabella di Giovanni wrote:
>
> My Lord Drakey (I really haven't figured out how I should correctly
> address you),
>
> I have taken/taught martial arts (Tae Kwon Do) for almost 20 years,
> 2nd degree black belt. On the dojang floor I have never hurt myself
> (except for gettin pi**ed off for not breaking a board with a kick and
> instead, hitting it with my fist...breaking the board and several
> little itsy bitsy tiny bones in my hand). However, off the floor, I
> think I would challenge you for King/Queen of clumsy.
>
> I can, and have, tripped on a crack in the sidewalk, had my cats run
> in front of me and trip me, fallen down and up stairs (and there are 3
> flights in my house alone), mixed ammonia and bleach and inhaled the
> fumes...however in my own defense, I WAS ONLY 9,, cut my finger (11
> stitches), trying to slice potatoes on one of those tomato slicers
> that you lay the tomato down on and push, turned a corner and kicked
> my Kirby, dislocating 2 toes. That's just for starters.
>
> Isabella
> "Jones, Craig" wrote: > > Accidentally drunk bleach (great for
> removing plaque),
>>> Eaten Hemlock (puts lead in your pencil),
>>> Dropped a new 50L glass fermenter,
>>> Passed out in the bathroom sterilizing bottles,
>>> Developed an acute yeast allergy,
>>> Almost blown up a former Queen of the West,
>>> Blown up a 60L plastic fermenter,
>>> Set the garden on fire (clearing out a batch of dried Borage)
>>> And there's more, I just can't remember them all...
>>
>> God, Drake, no wonder a woman doesn't want to marry you, you are a
> walking
>> accident that she has to lovingly put you back together again, and
> again,
>> and again. Kidding, Aurore
>
> Sorry? I've think you've got the wrong end of the stickie here... I
> have been separated for 11 1/2 months and I:
>
> a) Have no current intentions of getting married to anyone quite yet,
> b) While haven't been beating them off with a stick, I have had plenty
> of
> offers since from some very, very lovely ladies. But it's important
> for
> me to develop for awhile longer as a single person. Still broken,
> will
> take a while to heal yet. I am keeping happy and healthy and have a
> lot
> of friends (old and new) helping me with this.
> c) Yes, I am looking for someone who can offer me tender ministrations
> after
> cutting my thumb open while I've been cooking them that gorgeous lamb
>
> tagine...
> d) Remember that these accidents are over an 8 year period. I am a
> little
> clumsy and rash but not the one-man demolition crew I'm portrayed to
> be... Not quite... :)~


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Edouard Who Is Not Lainie's Edouard (Daniel Myers)
http://www.medievalcookery.com/
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