[Sca-cooks] OOP, not quite OP: funny diet

[Patrick Levesque]

(loosely translated from French, feel free to correct grammatical and
spelling mistakes)

Petru

------


A New Miracle Diet!!!

Here's the " Toddler miracle diet ". This diet was put together after
observing for years that 2 years-old are quite thin, and consulting
pediatricians, x-ray technicians
and parents. It is very cheap and offers great nutritional variety. Before
embarking on this diet please consult your doctor; you'll need to consult a
doctor afterwards
anyway... Good Luck!

DAY ONE

Breakfeast: A beaten egg, toast with apricot jam. Take 2 bites from your
egg, using your fingers, drop the rest on the floor. Take a bite of toast,
spread the jam on your
face and clothes.

Lunch: 4 was crayons (any color), a handful of chip crumbs and a glass of
milk (only three mouthful, pour the rest on the floor).

Dinner: A pretzel, 2 pennies and a nickel, 4 mouthfuls of flat beer.

Evening Snack: a bite off a slice of bread, throw the rest across the
kitchen floor.

DAY TWO

Breakfast: Pick up the rest of yesterday's slice of bread and eat it. Drink
half a bottle of vanilla extract and a flask of artificial coloring.

Lunch: Half a tube of 'pulpous pink' lipstick and a cigarette (to eat, not
to smoke). One ice cube is also allowed.

Afternoon snack: lick a lollypop until sticky enough, then bring outside,
drop it in sand. Take it and lick it clean.Bring inside and drop on a rug.

Dinner: a small stone or uncooked gram, inserted through the left nostril.
Drop coke on mashed potatoes, eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE

Breakfast: two wafers with lots of syrup; eat with your fingers and rub in
your hair. A glass of milk, drink half and put the wafers in the glass.
After breakfast take
yesterday's lollypop from the rug, lick the accumulated moss on it, and
leave on your favourite couch.

Lunch: Three matchsticks, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit out a few
mouthfuls on the floor. Spill your glass of milk on the table and sip it.

Dinner: a bowl of ice creal, a handful of chips, some wine, some coffee.

LAST DAY

Breakfast: A quarter of a toothpaste tube (any flavour), a mouthful of soap,
one olive. Pour a glass of milk in a bowl of cereals, add half a cup of
sugar. When the
cereals are well soaked, drink the milk and give the cereals to the dog.

Lunch: Eat all the crumbs on the kitchen floor and dining room rug. Find the
lollypop and eat it all.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave the meatballs on the
table. A stick of mascara for dessert.

---

Unknown author, but definitely a parent




------ End of Forwarded Message