[Sca-cooks] OOP, not quite OP: funny diet

[Susan Fox-Davis]

BWAHAHAHAHA!  This gets sent to my household list toute de suite!

On 6/16/04 6:42 PM, "Patrick Levesque" <pleves1 at po-box.mcgill.ca> wrote:

> (loosely translated from French, feel free to correct grammatical and
> spelling mistakes)
> 
> Petru
> 
> ------
> 
> 
> A New Miracle Diet!!!
> 
> Here's the " Toddler miracle diet ". This diet was put together after
> observing for years that 2 years-old are quite thin, and consulting
> pediatricians, x-ray technicians
> and parents. It is very cheap and offers great nutritional variety. Before
> embarking on this diet please consult your doctor; you'll need to consult a
> doctor afterwards
> anyway... Good Luck!
> 
> DAY ONE
> 
> Breakfeast: A beaten egg, toast with apricot jam. Take 2 bites from your
> egg, using your fingers, drop the rest on the floor. Take a bite of toast,
> spread the jam on your
> face and clothes.
> 
> Lunch: 4 was crayons (any color), a handful of chip crumbs and a glass of
> milk (only three mouthful, pour the rest on the floor).
> 
> Dinner: A pretzel, 2 pennies and a nickel, 4 mouthfuls of flat beer.
> 
> Evening Snack: a bite off a slice of bread, throw the rest across the
> kitchen floor.
> 
> DAY TWO
> 
> Breakfast: Pick up the rest of yesterday's slice of bread and eat it. Drink
> half a bottle of vanilla extract and a flask of artificial coloring.
> 
> Lunch: Half a tube of 'pulpous pink' lipstick and a cigarette (to eat, not
> to smoke). One ice cube is also allowed.
> 
> Afternoon snack: lick a lollypop until sticky enough, then bring outside,
> drop it in sand. Take it and lick it clean.Bring inside and drop on a rug.
> 
> Dinner: a small stone or uncooked gram, inserted through the left nostril.
> Drop coke on mashed potatoes, eat with a spoon.
> 
> DAY THREE
> 
> Breakfast: two wafers with lots of syrup; eat with your fingers and rub in
> your hair. A glass of milk, drink half and put the wafers in the glass.
> After breakfast take
> yesterday's lollypop from the rug, lick the accumulated moss on it, and
> leave on your favourite couch.
> 
> Lunch: Three matchsticks, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit out a few
> mouthfuls on the floor. Spill your glass of milk on the table and sip it.
> 
> Dinner: a bowl of ice creal, a handful of chips, some wine, some coffee.
> 
> LAST DAY
> 
> Breakfast: A quarter of a toothpaste tube (any flavour), a mouthful of soap,
> one olive. Pour a glass of milk in a bowl of cereals, add half a cup of
> sugar. When the
> cereals are well soaked, drink the milk and give the cereals to the dog.
> 
> Lunch: Eat all the crumbs on the kitchen floor and dining room rug. Find the
> lollypop and eat it all.
> 
> Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave the meatballs on the
> table. A stick of mascara for dessert.
> 
> ---
> 
> Unknown author, but definitely a parent
> 
>