[Sca-cooks] Gender identification was a bunch of stuph- LONG

[Huette von Ahrens]

So did Dave ever become a demi-god?

Huette

--- Phlip <phlip at 99main.com> wrote:

> 
> Ene bichizh ogsen baina shuu...
> 
> > Poor Phlip probably gets gender misidentified more than I do, because of
> her name and because
> > she likes to do smithing and to butcher animals; to activities not
> typically thought of as
> > being feminine.
> 
> Well, while I feel entirely feminine, and I'm certainly heterosexual (not
> that that's necessary, for a woman to be feminine), I learned, long ago,
> that gender is completely unimportant. Our language is structured so there
> is no polite term for another human being that is gender neutral, and that
> causes for more problems than it solves. I've just decided that _I_ know who
> I am, and _my friends_ know who I am, so anyone else's opinion, being based
> on incomplete data, is just about what it's worth- incomplete and therefore
> faulty.
> 
> And, my name is, in fact, quite feminine, but it's unusual, and I got so
> tired of people mispronouncing it, I shortened it to Phlip. It's Philippa,
> in SCA and out, which is the feminine of Philip, and using "Phlip" as my
> nickname is no more unusual than referring to "Roberta" as Bob, or Bobbi or
> Bobby, or to "Stephanie" as Steve or Stevi or Stevie, but being an unusual
> name, has no commonly comprehended diminutive, so I don't worry about it.
> Calling me "Phippy", which was my beloved grandmother's nickname for me (as
> mine for her was "Mimi") is grounds for me decking you- that was HER name
> for me, and YOU are not Mimi. Understood, Gideanus?
> 
> A Pennsic Epiphany
> 
> I had thought that I was pretty easygoing in this regard, until Pennsic XXV.
> One night, sitting up at Tchukka's camp, we were sitting around, finishing
> up a bottle of good single malt Scotch, and a young man, Dave stopped by. He
> was a student, at, I believe, a university in Chicago, and had convinced his
> profs that he needed to do a study of Pennsic, and had convinced them to
> send along a couple of grad students to assist with his studies.
> 
> The first one lasted 2 days, the second lasted through Land Grab Week, and
> the third, at the time he was discussing this with myself and Tchukka, was
> still on site, camped with Great Dark Horde, but every time anything
> happened, would pull out his notebook and be a "Studying Anthropologist".
> 
> Anyway, somewhere in this melee of freaqued grad students, our friend Dave
> had decided that it might be interesting if they had a God to worship, and
> upon discussion, Cip became the new God of the Great Dark Horde. Horde being
> Horde, they all went along with it, so The Great God Cip, wherever he went,
> was greeted by bowing and praying Horde members.
> 
> Dave then decided he wanted to be a demi God, so he asked The Great God Cip
> how he might attain that desired station. The Great God Cip declared that in
> order to do this thing, Dave must learn deviousness, so sent Dave out on a
> Quest into the Wilds of Pennsic, at midnight or thereabouts. The Quest was
> to find a full bottle of good Scotch.
> 
> At this point, Dave arrived at Tzukka's camp, and told us the tale of his
> quest, and Tzukka and I looked at each other and said, "Well, we have a
> bottle of Scotch,,,"  "Yes, but it is an almost empty bottle of Scotch..."
> "Well, we can fix that..." and, after further discussion, we decided that we
> needed to refill the empty bottle of good Scotch, so that Dave might fulfill
> his quest, and that in order to do so, he must beg potables from whoever he
> encountered in his journey. Further, in order to assure that everything that
> went into the bottle was potable, I agreed to become Dave's Guide on his
> Quest, since I knew most of the people just down the hill (back side of
> Horde Hill), and could be assured that the contents of the bottle remained
> potable. Besides, in case you missed it, I was on the outside of half a
> bottle of good single malt Scotch, and I figured I could do anything ;-)
> 
> Well, we had a start. We had the bottle, and in fact it had a few drops of
> good single malt Scotch in it, and obviously that was enough for the Great
> God Cip to transform the rest of the contents, once we had them, so we first
> passed the bottle to the two other guests at the fire, and one donated some
> GoldSchlager, and the other donated some Godiva Chocolate Liqueur. I then
> stashed a couple of beers for the journey down the hill ( I figured I needed
> to sober up a bit, if I were going to be a Guide for a Quest), and off we
> went.
> 
> The first two camps we approached were empty, and the next camp was our
> camp.
> 
> Now let me digress a bit, and describe the entry way to my camp. There is a
> dirt road leading into it, and, right at the entrance, two deep ruts, which
> we had named the Classic Swimming Hole, and the Family Swimming Hole, with a
> narrow, slippery ridge between them. So far, that Pennsic, every time I had
> come into camp after getting a snootful of good Scotch, I had managed to
> fall in one or the other- I spent much of that Pennsic during daylight,
> doing laundry. This didn't occur when I was drinking beer, or for that
> matter, anything else, but every time I got into the Scotch, I fell in
> either the Classic or the Family Swimming Holes, so I had determined, to
> save my remaining garb, that, henceforth, when Tzukka (or whoever) fed me
> good Scotch, I wasn't going home, I'd crash at Tzukka's.
> 
> That magical night, I managed to make it into camp without falling into
> either Swimming Hole.
> 
> When I got there, the only two people there were a couple of Blue Feather
> ladies who were camping with us that year, and we presented them with our
> Quest. As they were Southerners, and teetotalers, they added some sweet tea
> to the good, but empty, bottle of Scotch, and by now, it was not quite so
> empty.
> 
> Since we were in my camp, I also added some stale beer, and some red wine
> from my stash, and stocked up again on beer (remember, I had to stay
> relatively sober), and we ventured forth again into the night, looking for
> more donations for our Quest.
> 
> The next camp we went to, the only people home were a couple of young ladies
> who were underage, so they quite delightedly, after we told them about the
> Quest, added Diet Pepsi to the mix.
> 
> Now, I was getting quite concerned, at this point, because most of what we
> had acquired recently was of low or no alcohol content, but I needn't have
> worried- the next camp we came to provided us with a healthy dollop of
> Everclear.
> 
> Our next camp was rather interesting. The gentleman who lives there is a
> VERY straight arrow, likely as conservative as any SCAdian can possibly be.
> It turned out that he was a long time friend of Dave's, and, in the
> discussion, Dave pulled up his shirt to show his friend his new nipple
> piercings, and I discovered that while Dave was quite male, he had a female
> body. Dave's friend donated to the bottle (to this day, he won't tell me
> what he put in it, but therafter, it smelled rather fruity, and he's a non-
> drinker, so no telling) and we went on. I did, however, learn, that he and
> Dave had been lovers at some point in the past.
> 
> Now, I was getting fairly tired by this point, particularly considering that
> I knew that I had to hike back up the bloody hill to Tzukka's, AND I was
> running low on beer, so I suggested, that since this was in essence a Water
> Quest, if a Fire Water Quest, and since the bottle was getting close to
> full, that we finish up at that campfire I could see in the middle of the
> Lake, on the Penninsula, where my friends from Mugmort camped. We went out,
> and Mugmort added some bourbon to the bottle, but it wasn't quite full.
> 
> Dave wanted to continue, but I said the bottle was almost full, and that we
> ought to retiurn to Tzukka's, relying on Serendipity to fill the rest of the
> bottle. As we walked, we had quite a conversation- Dave was in the process
> of changing his physical gender to match his mental and emotional gender, so
> since he was the first transgender I'd ever met, it was quite interesting.
> 
> As we walked up the Hill, we met some people coming down, and told them of
> our Quest, and they invited us back to their camp to finish up the bottle. I
> wasn't about to go back down that bloody hill, that I was already halfway
> up, so in desperation, I asked if they had ANY potable liquid, with which we
> might finish our Quest. As it happened they did- one of them was carrying a
> canteen, so we topped the now full bottle of Scotch... with Cooper Water....
> 
> We had finished our Quest, I stopped at Tzukka's, and we sent Dave on his
> way.
> 
> But, the reason for this long tale is this- during our conversation, one
> remark Dave had made rarther stuck in my mind- He said that he was
> homosexual.
> 
> Now, admittedly, I was well lubricated at the time, but even the next
> morning, when I was quite sober, understanding the English language as I do,
> I still couldn't quite figure out, just who would be the same gender as Dave
> (other than another transgender). After a while I gave it up.
> 
> And that's why, to this day, I really don't care what gender someone else
> is, or what gender they think I am. It really isn't very important- Dave was
> a nice person, so let's leave it at that.
> 
> Saint Phlip,
> CoD
> 
> "When in doubt, heat it up and hit it with a hammer."
>  Blacksmith's credo.
> 
>  If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it is probably not a
> cat.
> 
> Never a horse that cain't be rode,
> And never a rider who cain't be throwed....
> 
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> 


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