[Sca-cooks] What NOT to serve at feast...

[marilyn traber 011221]

> http://www.phmoms.com/Yulehumor.html
> 
> Proof that just because it's period doesn't mean it SHOULD be done...
> 
> Vitha

Not necessarily. I find the article to be more of an expression of the 
ignorance of the author, than a collection of repulsive recipes.

Recipe the first:

Cinnamon Sugar Dusted Cow's Udder:   
  
 Take a Cows Udder, and first boyl it well: then stick it thick all over with 
Cloves: then when it is cold spit it, and lay it on the fire, and and apply 
it very well with basting of sweet Butter, and when it is sufficiently 
roasted and brown, then dredg it, and draw it from the fire, take Venegar and 
Butter, and put it on a chafing dish and coals; and boyl it with white bread 
crum, till it be thick: then put to it good store Sugar and of Cinnamon, and 
putting it into a clean dish, lay the Cows Udder therein, and trim the sides 
of the dish with Sugar, and so serve it up ~The English Housewife, 1863 

First off, this recipe is post period by quite a bit- 1863. And, if one 
wishes to eat a cow's udder, this seems a reasonable way to do it, 
considering mammaries of any species are very fatty. It looks to me that this 
dish would be akin to a pudding.

Recipe the second:

Pork and Hens, no fire used in their preperation  
 
 Cooking without fire. Instructions for cooking meat without fire. Take a 
small earthenware pot, with an earthenware lid which must be as wide as the 
pot; then take another pot of the same earthenware, with a lid like that of 
the first; this pot is to be deeper than the first by five fingers, and wider 
in circumference by three; then take pork and hens and cut into fair-sized 
pieces, and take fine spices and add them, and salt; take the small pot with 
the meat in it and place it upright in the large pot; cover it with the lid 
and stop it with moist, clayey earth, so that nothing may escape; then take 
unslacked lime, and fill the large pot with water, ensuring that no water 
enters the smaller pot; let it stand for the time it takes to walk between 
five and seven leagues, and then open your pots, and you will find your food 
indeed cooked
~Two Anglo-Norman Culinary Collections Edited from British Library Manuscripts
* There is footnote on this one that states unslacked lime is toxic, but 
there is no mention of the toxicity of meat left to rot in a pot while you 
take a seven league walk (say that five times fast)! 

This one IS period, but the author is, as usual thinking that potted meat is 
being left to ROT. Unfortunately, what this REALLY describes is a very early 
method of using chemical heat. Quicklime, when water is added, generates a 
good amount of heat. 6 (the average of 5 and 7) leagues is 12 miles. It would 
be reasonable for a good walker to cover that distance in 3-4 hours, which is 
just about the time it takes most stews to slow cook. If you notice, the pot 
containing the food is to be well sealed- also, pottery is specified, because 
the quicklime solution would eat right through metal, paticularly copper. If 
you think cooking using chemical heat is unlikely or impossible, tell it to 
the modern US military. That's how many MRE's (the modern version of portable 
food- Meals Ready to Eat) are prepared.

Recipe the third:

That flesh may look bloody and full of Worms, and so be rejected  
    
  
 
 By Smell-feasts.  Boil Hares blood, and dry it, and powder it. Cast the 
powder upon the meats that are boiled, which will melt by the heat and 
moisture of the meat, that they will seem all bloody, and he will loath and 
refuse them. Any man may eat them without any rising of his stomach. If you 
cut Harp strings small, and strew them on hot flesh, the heat will twist 
them, and they will move like Worms.

~Porta, Giambattista della
* Apparently, this was how the Italians got rid of unwanted dinner 
guests/freeloaders. The footnote states that modern harp strings are not made 
of organic material, so you should not use them when making this dish. I'll 
keep that in mind! 

This is interesting in its own right, simply because, reversing the modern 
prejudices of the first recipe, it expresses the prejudices of the culture 
who came up with it- that bloody meat is unfit to eat. How, I wonder, would 
these folks have reacted to our rare steaks and beef roasts? And, the harp 
strings are a nice touch, although I fail to see what makes them so 
disgusting, in our culture, which celebrates such oddities as gummi worms in 
flower pots with crushed Oreos as dirt, or the ever popular toosie rolls to 
make a used kitty litter box. Oh, and harp strings in period were made from 
intestines, just as sausage casings are, and were. Hot dog, any one?

Recipe the fourth:

 
 Boiled Calves head with Oysters  
 
 To boyle a Calves head with Oysters. 

Take the head, and boyle it with Water and Salt, and a little white Wine or 
Verjuyce, and when it is almost enough, then cut some Oysters, and mingle 
them together, and a blade or two of Mace, a little Pepper, and Salt, and a 
little liquour of the Oysters, then put it together, and put it to the Calves 
head, and the largest Oysters upon it, and a slit Lemon, and Barberries, so 
serve it in.

Head cheese, anyone? This is simply the fresh version. I, personally feel 
it's a waste of oysters, but that's MY prejudice coming through- I don't 
believe oysters should be cooked. But this looks to me to be no worse a 
barbarism than oyster dressing with one's turkey for Thanksgiving.
 
Recipe the fifth:

To Make that Chicken Sing when it is dead and roasted  
    
  
 
 To Make that Chicken Sing when it is dead and roasted, whether on the spit 
or in the platter. Take the neck of your chicken and bind it at one end and 
fill it with quicksilver and ground sulphur, filling until it is roughly half 
full; then bind the other end, not too tightly. When it is quite hot, and 
when the mixture heats up, the air that is trying to escape will make the 
chicken's sound. The same can be done with a gosling, with a piglet and with 
any other birds. And if it doesn't cry loudly enough, tie the two ends more 
tightly.

~Scully, Terence. The Vivendier
* I hope quicksilver wasn't mercury! That would make this dish not only of 
questionable taste, but also leathal! And who puts sulphur on the dinner 
table? "M'lady, have thee rotten egg hidden in thy bonnet, or is something 
verily amiss with thy chicken?" You could probably get rid of a few 
freeloaders by serving them singing chicken that smells like rotten eggs. I 
would suggest telling the Italians, but that bloody/maggoty meat is probably 
a winner for them. 

Well, I think they didn't recognize that quicksilver was a poison in period, 
and it's hard to blame them- heavy metal poisoning is very slow. I'd nix this 
one for safety reasons. But, it's still a good idea, if you're a member of a 
culture which outdoes itself to make meals as notable by the presentation, as 
by its flavor. And, basicly, I find it no odder than modern chefs decorating 
the plate with sprinkles of spices that aren't intended to be eaten.

There are several recipes that we probably shouldn't try today, knowing what 
we do about food safety, and various materials which can cause heavy metal 
poisoning, or are abortifacients, or other problems. But, most of these 
aren't the ones I'm thinking of.

Phlip