[Sca-cooks] Politeness in the face of not eating a dish - WAS: P B & J

Euriol of Lothian euriol at yahoo.com
Mon Aug 24 15:23:30 PDT 2009

Just putting in my two cents, there are many people who do not want to divulge why they may not eat a particular food. I have never taken it as rude when someone says simply "No, thank you." 

Of course, when someone is planning to attend a feast, it is that person's responsibility to get in touch with the head cook if there are any particular dietary restrictions. Things such as this should happen well in advance of the day of the feast.

I'm not sure how people with allergies, food sensitivities, or other restrictions handle an invite to dinner (or other meal); but I would think it would be rude to confront a host and the time of the meal that there is an "issue". 

For myself, my only concern is enjoying my food in moderation, or planning for an indulgence to attempt to keep in line with my own weight loss goals. Thus, I will plan ahead for any special occasion and need not trouble the host about it.


 Euriol of Lothian, OP
Clerk, Order of the Pelican, Kingdom of Æthelmearc
Chronicler, Barony of Endless Hills

"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy."
-Robindranath Tagore, Poet/Playwright/Essayist 1913 Nobel Prize for Literature

----- Original Message ----
From: Judith Epstein <judith at ipstenu.org>
To: Cooks within the SCA <sca-cooks at lists.ansteorra.org>
Sent: Monday, August 24, 2009 6:11:20 PM
Subject: Re: [Sca-cooks] P B & J

On Aug 24, 2009, at 4:45 PM, Lynn wrote:

> Sometimes "no thank you" can be just a short polite way saying many things that one might not want to really go into or discuss -- such as: I'm full, I'm not hungry, I've had enough; I really don't care for XXX because it gives me gas, makes me have heartburn, makes me belch, etc.; I don't recognize everything that is in that dish and might contain something I'm allergic to; I'm watching my calories, carbs, food portions; or a variety of other reasons.

Understandable, but what about "Does this dish contain <problematic ingredient>? Oh, dear. I wish I could have some, because it looks so good, but I'd better not, as I have adverse reactions to <problematic ingredient>." That tells the cook that you're not refusing hospitality, nor are you just dismissing the dish out of hand; you have legitimate reasons for not tasting the dish. A simple "no thank you" doesn't tell the cook anything useful. Explaining the reason for the refusal will help ensure that in the future, there'll be something you can eat.

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