[Sca-cooks] food dislikes, cultural mores and being polite. was Re: Re: P B & J
judith at ipstenu.org
Wed Aug 26 14:40:51 PDT 2009
On Aug 26, 2009, at 4:20 PM, Anne-Marie Rousseau wrote:
> I guess I'm reading this whole thread and thinking what a sad state
> of affairs we live in taht someone cant
> just say "no thank you" and have it taken at face value.
> why I say no? isnt actually anyones business but mine. it doesnt
> have to be a good reason, because its MY
No, but it does help a potential hostess. There are a lot of reasons
to say no.
"I have dietary restrictions that are too complicated to ask you to
cater to them just for one meal." That can't be worked around, but an
understanding host will certainly realize that you aren't snubbing
HER, or her cooking, just protecting your interests.
"I'm violently allergic to the things that are in the air in your
home." Whether it's a gluten intolerance that's really that bad, or
animal dander, or a mold problem, that's another one that's very easy
to understand. Again, it's impossible to work around it, but at least
the host knows it's not about HIM but about the environment.
"I'm gluten intolerant/allergic to nuts/lactose intolerant." The
specific ingredients can be avoided, and you can still get together
and have fun.
"I'd love to eat with you, but I notice that you bring a lot of things
with nuts to work. I'm not allergic to nuts, but I really hate the
texture of them." That means either the host can cook without nuts, or
can grind them up to a fine paste or powder so that the texture isn't
an issue. It can be worked around.
"I love you to pieces, but your neighbors (or children, or animals, or
traffic outside) are so noisy that it's hard to hold a conversation at
your house." With creativity, that can be worked around.
"Yes, I love brisket. I just am really uncomfortable around your
spouse." Delicate, but it can be worked around.
"I've been in your home, and it's so dirty that I think I'd be a
little ill eating there." (If someone is honest enough to tell you
that, clean up. Please.)
"That meal looks delicious, but my doctor told me to avoid that right
now." That means that at some point in the future, when the person is
in a healthier state, they may be able to eat that dish after all.
"I'm watching my weight." Really? I'm a Weight Watcher too! This is
only X calories per serving. Would a half-portion fit within your
There are a lot of reasons. Sure, the reasons are valid because
they're yours, but if you're good enough friends to be sharing a meal,
doesn't your friend deserve to know whether you're objecting to
something they might be able to fix, so that you can enjoy one
another's company over a nice plate of food?
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