[Sca-cooks] P B & J

Judith Epstein judith at ipstenu.org
Wed Aug 26 15:17:20 PDT 2009

On Aug 26, 2009, at 5:02 PM, Antonia Calvo wrote:

> Judith Epstein wrote:
>> On Aug 26, 2009, at 4:11 PM, Antonia Calvo wrote:
>>> Judith Epstein wrote:
>>>> When I invite you over, that's the time to tell me, "I'd love to  
>>>> come, but I should tell you that I can't eat onions." Okay, then,  
>>>> that helps me! For that, I will go out of my way to give you an  
>>>> amazing meal that doesn't involve onions. Or blueberries, or  
>>>> whatever it is that you can't eat for any reason whatsoever.
>>> No thank you.  I hate bell peppers with the fire of a thousand  
>>> suns and I won't eat them to please anyone, not even you.
>> Remind me again, if I invite you to dinner.
> The thing is, I'd be cringing with embarrassment if you quizzed me  
> about "why" I didn't eat something, and it's wildly unlikely I'd say  
> any such thing. I might be willing to have that kind of conversation  
> with my close friends, but that's *it*.  If someone grilled me about  
> what I did and didn't eat at a meal, I'd be reluctant to dine with  
> that person again.

As a host, it's very difficult to invite someone to dinner, but have  
them give me no help at all in making them a meal they can enjoy. I  
don't need to know everything about your life. Just tell me "I can't  
eat members of the onion family or the pepper family." I don't need to  
know why, I don't need to hear the novel of your life. Just help me to  
make sure that when you get to my house, you'll be presented with a  
meal that you can eat, instead of having to go hungry.

Of course, if you don't tell me in advance what you can't eat, and I  
cook something and you can't eat it, it's your own fault for not being  
up front with me -- but I'm not going to feel bad about that in the  
least, because I NEVER ask someone over without also asking them about  
their restrictions. And if you don't tell me what they are, and then  
you can't eat what I give you (or won't; I'm assuming you won't  
enlighten me as to why you haven't touched your dinner, since you  
didn't warn me about your dietary needs)... well, you won't get asked  
back for a meal.


More information about the Sca-cooks mailing list