[Steppes] Telling someone that what they are doing is not period

[Esther]

This has worked for me, and I give you the example, for what it is worth.
   
  I once had the honor to judge a "best favor" contest at a small event back in the dim, distant past. Since most of the people there were "new", there weren't any entrants. So, I canvassed the event, found the favors people were wearing, and boy, were there some dreadful things! Horrible needlework, wrong fabric, you name it.
   
  But every single one showed real effort and consideration, and had something to admire. So I admired them. And asked about what had inspired them, how they had done something where they had learned, and got bright-eyed answers. I said things like, "I really like what you did here. It reminds of a period technique I ran across -- have you found it yet?"
   
  Instead of telling someone their designs are wrong, how about saying, "Wow! I really like this design -- did you know that this bit here comes out of a period tradition? Have you had a chance to look at / run across this source? I'll bet you could knock that out of the ball park."
   
  And I admit, I weenied on the contest. Everyone there who had made a favor (there weren't many, five or six) got a moment of praise and for most, their first bow at a court. There was something that could be praised about all of them, so they all got praise. Their makers also went on to talk to me -- and let me bring others into the conversation -- about how to do what they were doing even better. They wouldn't have done it in the first place, if there passion wasn't it.
   
  I'm sorry the Lady left the SCA over the knocking off of points from the knit, but it seems to me that there is probably more back story to it. (Which I don't need to know.)
   
  I guess my point is, praise the passion if nothing else, and then try and teach, by finding out what it is the person is trying to learn, and why they are doing what they are doing. Don't tell them they are doing something wrong, tell them you are impressed by what they are doing now, find some point in that to teach them the next step. And if you can't do it, find the person you know who can, and get the two of them together. I've found information works much better than saying, "It isn't period!"  A "Wow! That's great! Have you seen this thing here, which is similar, and ya know, is Period!"
   
  And sometimes, people are just people. :-) You can usually tell a professional artist if they ask your opinion, and actually WANT to hear it.
   
   
  Esther
   
   
   
   
   
  
"willowjonbardc at juno.com" <willowjonbardc at juno.com> wrote:
  Greetings everyone

I have a special request of you. How can we tell people that what they 
are doing is not correct? That it is not period, but at the same time 
not make them feel bad. Many newer people are telling me that they are 
living in fear because they think their costumes, art, performances or 
behavor are going to be criticized and they are going to be told that 
they are not in period.

Now as a citizen of the SCA I feel it is my duty to inform people 
that their work may be better if they would stay in period. I have 
tried to tell them in a nice way. I have failed many times. Sometimes 
I am too soft. There was the young lady who was planning on beading a 
piece of polyester double knit. I warned her that taking that much 
time on double knit meant it would not get the best scores at the A&S 
competitions. She said she liked the design and she didn't plan on 
entering A&S. Of course 3 years later she did enter it and got points 
knocked because it was double Knit. She left the SCA over it. I failed 
with my own husband. I told him his work was not period and he is 
still mad at me. Sometimes I have helped people. There was a lady who 
in the everyday world won many awards for her needlework, but she was 
getting nowhere in SCA. I suggested she change her designs to 
something period and she received many awards for her work. When I 
told her that her designs were wrong she cried, but a year later when 
she got her Thistle she hugged me. 

We need to tell people the rules of the game, but we need to do it in 
a nice way. Does anyone remember a time when someone set you on the 
right path and did in a way that made you feel good? I would like to 
hear about their techniques. Courtesy is one of the pillars of the 
magic that is Ansteorra. We are smart people. We need to figure out 
how to tell people things without hurting their feelings. 
Duchess Willow de Wisp



________________________________________________________________________
Try Juno Platinum for Free! Then, only $9.95/month!
Unlimited Internet Access with 1GB of Email Storage.
Visit http://www.juno.com/value to sign up today!


_______________________________________________
Steppes mailing list
Steppes at lists.ansteorra.org
http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/steppes-ansteorra.org


 		
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
 Get on board. You're invited to try the new Yahoo! Mail.