[Steppes] newbie considering throwing in the towel

[Chiara Francesca]

{{HUGS}}

Well, let me give you a horse of a different color but it is still a horse. :)

I have lived in the Steppes many years. Served there all those years. I think I can safely say I have seen it all, served in almost all the offices, played in all the arts and sciences, seem people come and seen them go.

Some leave cause of burn out, some cause they are pissed, some cause their ego was not stroked enough, some cause they got a divorce or broke up with someone in the game and the other half refused to let go of the friends, some leave cause they found a different game or college or job that took them away, but some come back.

I moved. I am in a totally different state. A week after I got here I tried to go out and meet folks. I _thought_ I got ignored, I mean, I felt it. I emailed out to the local group. Got lots of "hello, and welcome" emails but the Hospitaler herself never returned the contact. I was just too busy to keep that up with no return of my invested time and travel. I was unpacking a house and getting family settled so I stopped trying.

I finished up what I needed then went to an event that was right by my home. It was their crown tournament. There were something like 1900 people there. It was incredible. I signed up for a class through their local college of embroidery. I am not an embroiderer so that is my challenge this year. I had talked to the marshal previously and volunteered to help. I got their Eirik (and they told me why the call it that, nice sweet story) and lo and behold, he remembered me. He only met me _once_ and talked to me for all of 5 minutes but he remembered me! He called me over, told me where the staffs were and then paired me up with one of their oldest squires in the kingdom. It was great. :)

I got to meet the King and tried to give him greetings from my Knight and I ended up stuttering and losing my voice mid sentence. It really scared me when he leaned in so close to hear me that I thought he was going to bump my head! Yes, I was nervous. But I was delivering an important greeting.

I had also volunteered to do clean up duty on closing day. When I came back to work, again, they remembered me, called me over, showed me a map of the site and told me where the crew was at and the direction they were cleaning towards. I had a great weekend.

Now, they know me.

What is my point? My point is that it takes time. My other point is something that Sir Morgan said to me about newcomers a loooong time ago rang in my head that first day I went to the crown tournament. He said that it is a two way street. Newcomers have to put themselves out there too. We cannot hand hold them too long or they will get used to it and then feel rejected when we let them go to be on their own. I had to put myself out there and it took me time to be comfortable enough to do that.

Give it time, put yourself out there some more, if you can, attach yourself to a group/mentor. It really works. The Steppes is known for their outstanding Hospitalers, take advantage of that fame in your officer staff. :)

♫
Chiara Francesca

> -----Original Message-----
> From: steppes-bounces at lists.ansteorra.org [mailto:steppes-
> bounces at lists.ansteorra.org] On Behalf Of Lauren Black
> Sent: Tuesday, October 28, 2008 5:29 PM
> To: steppes at lists.ansteorra.org
> Subject: [Steppes] newbie considering throwing in the towel
> 
> I'm pretty annoyed at this whole thing that basically everybody knows
> everybody and I still don't know many many people as a new SCAer.  I'm
> getting frustrated and why the heck I'm even bothering when all I feel
> is that I'm getting in the way at the events.  I feel when I go to some
> of  some of these things that pretty much nobody speaks to me, with the
> exception of a few people.  I feel very alone and like I'm on my own
> when it comes to learning to play in the SCA.  I may come to
> coronation, but that may be my last event if this is the way things
> continue to be.
> 
> ~Lauren
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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