[Steppes] European history--- for fun

[Elaine]

For fun-- now and then and then, again--- for grins all 'round by HL  
Lete......

Credited to John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person:

The ENGLISH are  feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in  
Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to  
"Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to  
"Irritated" or even  "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit  
Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.  
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody  
Nuisance." The last time the  British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"  
warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The SCOTS have raised their threat level from  "Pissed Off" to "Let's  
get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the  
reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for  
the last 300 years.

The FRENCH  government announced yesterday that it has raised its  
terror alert level  from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels  
in France are  "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was  
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag  
factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

ITALY has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly  and  
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels   
remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The GERMANS have increased their alert state from "Disdainful  
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also  
have two higher levels:  "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

BELGIANS, on the  other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only  
threat they are worried about is NATO's pulling out of Brussels .

The SPANISH are all excited to see their new submarines ready to  
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass  bottoms so the  
new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

AUSTRALIA, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No   
worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels  
remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this  
weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever  
warranted use of the last final escalation level.

A  final thought - " Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting  
aggressive, and Rome is in disarray.
Welcome back to 430  BC.  "

: - D