Pennsic

[kal35810 at Jetson.UH.EDU]

The drive home from Pennsic is rather long.  It took us 26 hours this year,
including getting lost in Louisville, Kentucky.  To help stay awake during
those early morning hours, we developed the official "You Know You've Been
at Pennsic Too Long When ..." list.  Here goes:
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If you look at the construction workers' orange safety vests & wonder which
household their tabards are from.

If you look for blue tape on the helmet of a motorcycle cop.

If you brag to your co-workers about how many knights you killed on your
vacation.

If you count the success of your vacation by the % of your body that is
covered in bruises.

If you look for your site medallion before re-entering your hotel room.

If you consider your helm as carry on baggage.

If your luggage consists of blue tarps & duct tape.

If you have 8 new sticks of rattan in your car, but can't afford the drive home.

If your dum-bec is louder than your car horn.

If you gaze with envy at the pavillions on a used car lot.

If you try to steal the banner the construction crew is using to direct traffic.

If you drop to your knees & yell "HOLD" at the police officer's whistle.

If you refer to your waitress as "Milady".

If you constantly hear bagpipes in the distance.

If you look at a stopsign and think, "What a nifty shield."

If you consider woad in "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service."

If you wish you could replace the horn on your car with a lance.

If you bring your own goblet into a resturant.

If you try to barter for gas.

If you hang your banner from your Holiday Inn room door.

If you light a tiki torch outside your hotel room.

If the "flush" sound in the restroom confuses you.

If you refer to the restroom as the "privy".

If you ask the waitress for "meade" or "ale" with dinner.

If you can remember the contents of each & every merchant booth, but forgot
where you put your car keys.

If you have to ask if the swimming pool at your hotel is "classic" or "family".

If you try to unzip your front door.

If you wait until after 2pm to take a shower so the water will be warm.

If you know the results of every war point, but have no idea who's leading
the presidential race.

If you've ever considered your king for president.