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Date: 1 Oct 1996 12:08:25 U
From: "Michael Gunter" <michael_gunter1 at>
Subject: Yuks...deities...spermballs...etc...
To: "Newsletter.Ansteorra" <Ansteorra at>
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I have been requested to explain something about the yuks.  Since I am not a
member of that esteemed tribe this is not my place.  But, if they don't mind
terribly, I would like to tell a story which may help all Persians out there
understand what it is like to be civilized.

Once, a few seasons ago at Elfsea Defender, the Yuk tribe visited the
Persians to camp and show the people how to be civilized.

Lo and behold but the War God Lloyd was there and also were the twin sons of
Lloyd.  There was Mikyuk the good son who brought green grass and strong

There was Guntyuk the evil twin who made the Yuks strong by bringing
adversity to the tribe.  (This started when Mari said she liked my beard.  It
made me look evil.  After twenty-five years of looking like Howdy-Doody this
was a major compliment.)

Then there was the third twin son, Penyuk, but we don't talk about him.

As the night drew on and it got colder, the Yuks and their pantheon didn't
have fire to warm them save a single candle.  Well it was fire and where
there's fire there's a party.  They stood around shivering by this little
candle, drinking cream liquor and telling stories.  Finally Penyuk (Remember
Penyuk?) was drinking the last of the liquor when, I think it was Ragyuk but
my memory is fuzzy, stated that this was sad because now he didn't know how
the mares would be impregnated.  Penyuk nearly spit the sacred liquor across
the camp.

The were all wondering how the herd could be saved when Maryuk declared that
the herd was rescued as she produced a bag of marshmallows.  "Look," cried
she, "spermballs!"  Guntyuk then proved he was the god of evil by inserting a
spermball on his index finger and roasting it over the candle flame.  

Spermballs are mighty tasty when well  crisped.

I pray this tale helps some who have not met this hardy tribe.  I do hope the
Yuks forgive me for the incorrect names, but hey, I just make their lives
miserable not talk to them.



Richard Bainter          Mundanely     |    Network and System Administrator
Pug                      Generally     |   Interval Systems, Inc.  Austin, TX
    pug at     |     pug at     |     {any user}
Note: The views may not reflect my employers, or even my own for that matter.

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