[Ansteorra] History/Enculturation/Cliquishness....

[Brian Martin]

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Good ladies and all who read this,

Sorry, but I've got to step in here. I don't know how many times I've
offered to help a lady carry something only to be rebuffed. I've had
actually had women get offended that I offered to help, telling me that they
were *quite* capable of carrying something without a man's assistance. Which
is it? Should we offer or not? How can we tell that you want help or don't?
Body language doesn't do it, by the way - men, in general, aren't good at
interpreting it.

There have also been several occasions where I've helped various women carry
various things throughout the day, only to be called down and criticized on
the one time that I didn't see a lady with a burden or was unable to help.
It seems to me that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't and will be
criticized either way.

Awaiting the fire,
Pendaran

-----Original Message-----
From: Michele Hoermann [mailto:ladyjutta at earthlink.net]
Sent: Wednesday, April 24, 2002 6:04 AM
To: ansteorra at ansteorra.org
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] History/Enculturation/Cliquishness....


And may I add in this bit a few ladies and I have noticed....
What ever happened to the time when a lady could not walk 3 feet carrying
something heavy or bulky (or anything for that matter) without a lord coming
out of nowhere to pluck these things from your arms and assist you to your
destination. Be it just 2 more feet away or clear across the site. I know
this time was not THAT long ago. Yet, I have had many men, including Knights
and Dons, walk right by a lady with her arms full and not even take notice.
Please tell me that chivalry is not dead in the SCA!!
Lady Jutta
----- Original Message -----
From: "Pam Kendrick" <pkendrick at houston.rr.com>
To: <ansteorra at ansteorra.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 23, 2002 9:11 PM
Subject: RE: [Ansteorra] History/Enculturation/Cliquishness....


> I hate to say this, but here goes.......................
>
> Last year at Star Gate's Baronial I could not even get one of four knights
> to help me lift a heavy cooler off a table and onto the floor, though I
> asked several times for assistance.
>
> They were MUCH too busy talking about how to properly hit an opponent.  I
> have since stopped asking.
>
> Setting up camp alone, with or without children, has become the norm
rather
> than the exception.
>
> Damask
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: ansteorra-admin at ansteorra.org
> [mailto:ansteorra-admin at ansteorra.org]On Behalf Of DonnelShaw at aol.com
> Sent: Tuesday, April 23, 2002 7:40 PM
> To: ansteorra at ansteorra.org
> Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] History/Enculturation/Clickishness....
>
>
> I know personally I can no longer set up a camp by myself. I don't have
the
> strength. But I don't seem to get the help I use to get. Since I have
> children with me I tend to be stuck looking for someone and apologizing
to
> them. My solution has been an RV. But that does not cover it at a lot of
> events. Thus I tend to day trip a lot of times. I use to brag that I could
> always find help to set up my tent. Now that is not the case. I know there
> are other women who travel by them selves with children that have voiced
> similar. Can I see any up lifted hands willing to help when needed women
> with
> children?
> Ly Maili Donnel MacGregor
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