[Bordermarch] a horrible transgression has occurred...

[Thelismar at bordermarch.org]

Your most wise & benificent Excellency,

    A most horrible insult & transgression hath occurred in the waters off
the coast of our most wonderful barony...It appears that a grand
larceny has befallen one of my merchant shipping colleagues...Bluto
the "popped-eye" was shipping a bountiful load of olive oil, sweet
peas, spinach & most importantly 400 bottles of the finest Ansteorran
wine...I came upon his lifeboat cast adrift at sea...Bluto the
"popped-eye" & his crew were accosted by none other than Lord
Chrestien Brule & the wretched crew of the "Phoenix"...Their cargo was
lifted @ sword point & the mighty vessel "Blimpy Jeep" was burned to
the waterline according to their accusations...I asked if they were
sure...They stated, "It happened @ night after the rum ration tote
after the midwatch (12am-4am)"...I believe the crew of the "Blimpy
Jeep" as I have smelled the wretchedness that wafts from the holds of
the "Phoenix" as they have passed my own vessel on the baronial
river...I also point to the time that the Seawinds captain had his
five daughters stolen...When approached finally after some months Lord
Chrestien's crew had added five to its rolls...When the five new crew
were approached by docking & customs constables, the constables were
accosted @ sword point by the strangely swollen bellied men who let
out shrill screeches & had hideous straw black moustaches whilst
maintaining feminine features...They were told by Lord Chrestien to be
from Cathay (china)...Odd enough, but the accusation still
stands...Lord Chrestien & crew are nothing more than brigands on the
high seas...The financial future of our Kingdom & Barony cannot afford
the likes of his kind plundering & pillaging our economic lifeblood
for his & his broods fancy...Death, I say is most befitting this
reptile...Long live Barony Bordermarch & The Kingdom of
Ansteorra...your humble seafaring servant, m'lord Beau de la Mere