[Bordermarch] The Frayed Knot

[Lathrop, Dave]

It pleases my heart to announce this year's winner of the coveted 'Frayed Knot' award, it was Bordermarch's very own over oxygenated, yet still mighty, Sir Simonn of Amber Isle!

The very first to enter the competition was last year's winner, Lord Biau-Douz de la Mere. He threw down his very best joke but I forgot what it was. I think it was a sailor joke.

The competition's next entrant was Lord Chrestien Brule. He countered Lord Biau's joke with one about a buccaneer whose ears were miraculously attached to his own head! A very funny joke indeed! It made me chortle.

The third joker was M'Lord Madoric Signov. He awkwardly stumbled through the only PG rated joke he knew. I laughed at his attempt more than his joke. I forgot what his joke was about.

The dark-horse entrant was Lady Karen. She claimed she didn't really want to win the competition and thereby shame her sailor man Lord Biau, but she just had to share a joke that had been stuck in her soul for quite some time.
I think the joke would have been very funny if Lady Karen had remembered how it went, but half-way through the telling she became confused. She immediately locked eyes with HE Elisabeth and totally avoided my, "What in the name of cornbread are you talking about!" look. She then threw her arms up in the air and waved them all around her head and said, "Anyway, you know what I mean." She abruptly stood up and returned to her table. HE Elisabeth was sitting there shaking her head like, "OH! I get it now!" I on the other hand felt a sharp pain shoot across my forehead, and the whites of my eyes started throbbing! I tried to focus my thoughts and go to that happy place I visit sometimes, but that song Muskrat Love kept popping into my head!
As I was slowly spiraling down to somewhere I never wanted to go, I knew Lady Karen's attempt at telling me a joke had shattered my funny bone!
I went into shock!

The final competitor, Sir Simonn, unexpectedly appeared at my side. His lilting whispery voice passed through one of my ears, then through my brain, and then out through my other ear to HE Elisabeth's ear. His voice rescued me from complete oblivion.
He told us a highly advanced Knightly joke about pickle relish. It was funny. He won the competition with that joke.

I was considering Lord Chrestien's joke, but he let it slip that he had stolen it from Lord Biau. Lord Biau forgot he had shared the joke with Lord Chrestien.
I disqualified them both for being idiots!

M'Lord Madoric's joke did not win because it totally went against his joke telling nature; whatever that means.

Lady Karen needs a bit more practice on her delivery. Perhaps she could learn how to end a joke with a punch-line instead of, "Anyhow, you know what I mean."

Sir Simonn now has the privilege of wearing the Frayed Knot wherever he goes. I hope he shares his funny joke with anyone and everyone he meets.

HE Santiago