[Elfsea] FW: [SCA-Chirurgeon] We've been awfully serious latelyso....

[Valentyn Drake]

You say tomato, she says tomahto, I say, "Gah, where's my thumb?"

 

Valentyn

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: elfsea-bounces+donvalentyn=jeffturnerfiction.com at ansteorra.org
[mailto:elfsea-bounces+donvalentyn=jeffturnerfiction.com at ansteorra.org] On
Behalf Of Richard Threlkeld
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:56 AM
To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
Subject: [Elfsea] FW: [SCA-Chirurgeon] We've been awfully serious
latelyso....

 

Thought I would share this from the SCA Chirurgeon list.

 

Caelin

 

  _____  

From: Phlip [mailto:phlip at 99main.com]
Sent: Mon 6/28/2004 9:09 AM
To: SCA-Chirurgeon at yahoogroups.com
Subject: [SCA-Chirurgeon] We've been awfully serious lately so....

I figure it's time to lighten up a bit. Here's a list of remedies that you
WON'T find in your First Aid Manual, no matter where you get your training
;-)

Enjoy ;-)

Ene bichizh ogsen baina shuu...

Home remedies that REALLY WORK

Home Remedies:
  1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The
blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you
will forget about the tooth ache..

AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life
really are:

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never
know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan


Saint Phlip,
CoDoLDS

"When in doubt, heat it up and hit it with a hammer."
Blacksmith's credo.

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it is probably not a
cat.

Never a horse that cain't be rode,
And never a rider who cain't be throwed....



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