[Elfsea] Sewing & the current issues

[Miss M Brow]

Ooh, me!  me!  I'm interested in going to a sewing day!  *jumps up and down waving arms*  and Ascelyn, I think I even sorta remember where you live!   oops... I delurked, didn't I?  
 
OK, so, since I am sending this email, I might as well add my 2c to the conversation about why the Barony is losing people.  Here is my story.
 
I have been here two years now, and although everyone I meet has been friendly to me, I do not feel like a part of the group yet.  I have helped with loading/setup/teardown/unloading at a few events, sat gate at one, did scorekeeping at one (my first), assisted with cooking at one, gone to a few  "classes" and get-togethers such as cooking guild, scribal guild etc and assisted with site medallions (oh, I still haven't gotten the containers back that I brought the stringed tokens to the site in).
I have met some extremely nice people and would like to count them among my friends, but somehow it doesn't feel like friends yet.  I  don't know how to say this without sounding petty and childish, so however I manage, please take this with a grain of salt.   Don't get me wrong...I don't expect people to take me by the hand and coddle me, but it all feels so one-sided.  (ok I need to have my hand held when trying to find my way around as I could get lost trying to find my way out of a wet paper sack! but aside from that I don't expect coddling)
 
Nobody in this group has made any effort to get to know me.  I have tried to make friends with various people, yet I feel like I am at best welcomed as an extra set of hands.  I have no friend in the group to take me around the way a lot of newbies do, and it is extremely hard for me to reach out.  Without the occasional instance of someone in the group reaching out to *me* it feels as though I am and always will be an outsider.  A great deal of this is only my perception, it is not backed up by the way I am treated, but nonetheless it is still all one-sided.  I am the one who has been trying to connect with the group for the past two years, and it is still not reciprocal.  
 
Just to let you know, I am not looking for a best friend or a boyfriend... I just want to be a part of the group and have fun and help out too.  I really miss the comraderie I had with my old group back on the east coast; after a dozen years of being very active in the SCA (in NJ/PA) I find myself floundering and unsure of how to proceed (here in TX).
 
I *really* want to be an active part of the group, but I am new (to the group and to the area) and I am shy.  It is hard for me to reach out to others and break into the "cliques" someone mentioned in a previous email.  I have no single instance to cite to explain my feelings, because like I said, whenever I do reach out people *are* nice, but I feel as though if I never did another thing in Elfsea, I would not be missed.  Indeed, sometimes I think it would not even be noticed.  And being the one always doing the reaching out is exhausting for us shy folks.
 
Lady Mairi Beswick, called Rua


From: aislyn_glynwyrd_fen at hotmail.comTo: elfsea at lists.ansteorra.orgDate: Tue, 3 Jun 2008 15:33:24 -0500Subject: Re: [Elfsea] Hospitilar and Sewing?


Lady Irina, I would be happy to host a Sewing day at my home. At present I believe Lady Elspeth is also hosting sewing days at her home in the northwest part of Fort Worth.  As I am located in the southeast part of the barony (in the 360/I-20 area) perhaps one of our homes would be convenient for you. I am a fairly competent seamstress and I would be happy to help anyone that might need it. If anyone else is interested, please let me know and we can determine a suitable date. I would like to have an on-going Sew-Fest at regular intervals as well. Perhaps every other month?I also have a very large back yard suitable for armoring up and very good lighting for night time fighting, just in case, someone one would be interested in that as well. Oh yeah, and a grill !!!!!
Yours In Service, Ascelyn of Glentewrde Seneschal, Barony of Elfsea & Central Regional Missile Marshal Per bend Sinister Gules and Or, a Unicorn Argent and a Rose Proper 

 
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