[Loch-Ruadh] OT--Period Dr. Suess????

Wed Jun 5 02:47:04 PDT 2002

Boil't Beets And Haggis:  by Julie Karasik

I am sam.
Sam McTaggis

Mi'lord, would ye like some boil't beets an' haggis?

I would not.

Would you like them in a boat?
Would you like them with a goat?

In sooth, I wouldna, couldna, on a boat,
nay, I wouldna, couldna with a goat,
I dinnae like boil't beets and haggis
I dinnae like them, Sam McTaggis

Not if your boat was in a moat
Or if the goat gave you oats?

I wouldna, couldna in a moat
I wouldna, coulda with some oats
I do not like boilt beets and haggis
even served by you, McTaggis

Would you on the ocean blue?
Would you, if t'were in a stew?

I wouldna, couldna on the ocean blue
I willna eat it in a stew
I dinnae like boilt beets and haggis
please leave me alone, Sam McTaggis!

But why? That haggis is fresh, the beets are red
Do ye wish to be starved 'till ye are dead?
See here my lovely sheep
she's et so much, she's gone to sleep
Please try my boil't beets and haggis,
I swear they're good, or I'm not Sam McTaggis!

I do not like boil't beets and haggis...
They make me roil, they make me gaggis
I wouldna do that to my sheep
I wouldna eat them, not even to sleep
I do not like boilt beets and haggis
Not even served by you, McTaggis.

Not even if I beg?
Even standing on one leg?

Not if you beg,
even on your _only_ leg.

Lad, your beets be watery mush
your haggis worse than winter slush
I willna touch them with this hand
I will not have them on my land

Now get ye gone, and now I say!
or with my hounds you'll spend the day.

Yipe! I run, I flee
perhaps these viands are not the best for me!

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