[Namron] Changes to requirements for performances at the Norman Medieval Fair...
rob at mummersguild.com
Wed Apr 1 07:50:47 PDT 2009
I regret to inform you that apparently the Fantasy Actor's Guild has
noticed our little fair in Namron, possibly due to the increased media
coverage in the last couple of years. As such, they have declared
that given the number of new-age style merchants and the ready
availability of fairy wings in myriad colors, the Norman Medieval Fair
has been categorized as a fantasy event, and as such is under their
What does that mean for us? Unfortunately (especially for those who
have taken the acting workshops given last month) that means that
period speech (of any period) is banned, unless each speech makes
mention of some element of fantasy. Should performers at the fair
wish to greet a lady, the phrase "Good morrow to you, milady" must
instead be changed to include a fantasy element, such as "Lo, how the
fairies do shine upon thee this morn, milady".
Additionally, all names of performers must have a consonant preceding
them with a gratuitous apostrophe, should the performer be portraying
a noble. For example, Lord Lorenzo must now be F'Lorenzo and Lady
Antonia is now K'antonia. Further, all garb that is considered "too
period" will be required to be modified to include no less than 42
square inches of sequins and/or black vinyl. If garb is feminine, red
vinyl may be substituted.
There are a number of other rules and regulations which are available
at the F.A.G. website. Fortunately, unlike S.A.G., there is no
requirement that you be a member before performing in the medieval
fair. Unfortunately, however, the Fantasy Actor's Guild takes
enforcement of its policies seriously and will have "Compliance
Officers" present to ensure they are carried out. These compliance
officers are described as having sullen blue eyes and a black square-
cut mane and are recognizable by their chiseled musculature made
visible by their naugahyde loincloths and faux fur cloaks, complete
with elforyn skull-shaped shoulder pieces. Should you be performing
when one or more (they like to travel in pairs) of these compliance
officers approaches, it is advisable to immediately break character
and begin speaking (without appearing to notice them) in a deep
southern accent with lots of "Y'all"s and "OK"s thrown in to make it
clear you are not giving a period performance. "Y'all oughta go have
you some of them funnel cakes an' go ride them elephants over yonder,
OK?" will probably throw them off the scent.
The last person the Guild's compliance officers caught performing in a
period manner was found a day later, boiled in his own figgy pudding
with a coat-hanger and panty-hose fairy wing through his heart.
Should anyone still wish to learn how to play (in period) with the
crowds, I will be working with people off and on through the fair as I
have time from my other duties, and will risk life and limb to help as
many as I can... just keep your eyes peeled for those compliance
-Robert o' the Faire
PS- I tried to send this with a small attachment (the Faire Thee Well
phrase guide for performing at the fair). However, since it didn't
get through, please email me if you would like a copy.
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