[Northkeep] A slightly different situation.

Addington, Debbie, A daaddington at saintfrancis.com
Wed Oct 10 09:32:39 PDT 2001

didn't hurt mine.  :)

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	the Suarez Family [SMTP:family at suarez-turner.com]
> Sent:	Wednesday, October 10, 2001 11:30 AM
> To:	northkeep at ansteorra.org
> Subject:	RE: [Northkeep] A slightly different situation.
>  Well, okay, as someone who hasn't made it to nearly enough things and
> doesn't know many people, I will gladly give my own impressions of what
> I have experienced. Note that this is NOT intended as a criticism, just
> an observation, especially since I certainly consider myself and my
> family to be of Northkeep (and proud of it!) <deep breath>
>  Many of the people that I have seen just around at events, etc (doing
> whatever they enjoy most) do seem distant....cold perhaps. I have spent
> a lot of time utilizing my friendship with Susan by saying, "Okay who do
> I ask about X?" and asking her to introduce me. It's VERY hard for me to
> approach people and ask about things anyway, but usually when I do
> approach someone, I don't often get a smile or a "Would you like to know
> more about this?", unless I have already met the person. For a while
> this intimidated me a great deal, and then the more things I attended,
> the more I was able to observe folks. Quite simply, from what I have
> seen, people are BUSY. Their primary attention is focused on whatever
> they are doing...having a conversation/preparing for a
> fight/sewing/adjusting garb/eating/listening to a story, etc etc etc.
> They aren't being rude, they're just focused on their task. Only once
> have I ever had anyone actually speak harshly, and I felt that they were
> just plain too overwhelmed and probably shouldn't have been bothered in
> the first place. In fact, most are very polite and the vast majority
> become very friendly and helpful after you speak to them a bit. Now I am
> more recognized and feel very welcome indeed! So perhaps to someone
> else, a group engaged in dancing (or whatever) would seem very clannish,
> when they are actually merely intent on watching to learn the steps,
> etc.
>  The other thing I have seen the most of is that we, the people of
> Northkeep as  group, seem tense right now. We have recently been through
> a lot. Sometimes I get the feeling that we are holding our breath,
> waiting for the other shoe to fall. We're trying to heal and move
> forward and grow and stay strong and naturally don't want anything to
> impede that process. Tension can be felt, sometimes especially in a
> group. Maybe someone approaching a group of us makes us all think, "Oh
> no, what now?" That will show, of course, if that's what we're thinking.
> I know it does for me, every thought I have shows clearly on my face!
> <G>
>  Lastly, in truth, sure I could see someone saying something like that
> in sarcastic jest. Many of us have a terribly sarcastic wit, and our
> sense of humor is wry and dry. Like Maidenhair pointed out, you just
> don't realize that someone else might not be able to tell that you are
> joking. I know I don't. I have often told one of my boys in public not
> to cross me or else I'd "beat them within an inch of their life". Would
> I? Well, no,  but Jane Doe or Granny standing next to me doesn't know
> that. So perhaps it was simply a case of misconception. A
> misunderstanding of words and tone. That's what I believe may have
> happened in this case, anyhow.
>  So the questions now are 1. How concerned are we that we are being
> perceived as rude and snobbish? 2. What can we (Northkeep) do to not
> seem that way again?
>  Well, I personally am concerned, sure. I don't want any Northkeepers to
> be talked about in that manner, or for Northkeep to be perceived as
> someplace where the rude and hateful people are from! We can't change
> what's past, so in my opinion, the best case scenario is for each of us
> has to examine our own outlook, attitude and manner and see if it needs
> improvement when approached by an outsider or if it does not. But I
> guess I believe this should be to be a very individual process. Everyone
> can benefit from a little self examination and re-evaluation
> occasionally. Thank you for making us (ME) aware of this, Dairmaid. Even
> though I consider myself to be very friendly, I will strive to be more
> open and welcoming when I am representing Northkeep in the future.
> I hope I didn't make anyone mad or hurt any feelings!
> In Service,
> Sioned/Janece
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