[Northkeep] This week's events and recognizing them at events .

Addington, Debbie, A daaddington at saintfrancis.com
Fri Sep 14 11:51:33 PDT 2001

oh how i can relate!
the hospital has had daily prayer vigils of some kind every day this week
and are planning on repeating the pattern for next week.  I have several
become offended just because i did not wish to participate and prefered to
continue with work.
Once I get home, I don't have the distractions to keep my mind occupied and
that's when it all overwhelms me.


> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Marc Carlson [SMTP:marc-carlson at utulsa.edu]
> Sent:	Friday, September 14, 2001 1:46 PM
> To:	northkeep at ansteorra.org
> Subject:	[Northkeep] This week's events and recognizing them at
> events.
> I think I would be pretty sure that after this week's events, and people's
> responses to it,
> I would be more inclined to NOT attend an event where there was going to
> be even a strongly
> encouraged show of 'how bad we feel about this'.
> The reason for this is fairly simple.  Different people express their
> emotions differently.  Some
> people are still locked in the shock and horror stage, while others have
> moved well past the
> anger stage, and trying to make people deal with things in ways that they
> do not normally
> do them (for example, say, a mandated moment of silence during feast, or
> even a strongly
> encouraged one) just makes them more angry.
> I've had my nose rubbed in this fact more than once this week.  I myself
> am a very private
> person, and the way I deal with trauma frequently involves even more
> rational, objective and
> analytical than normal (yes, it's possible).  Moreover, I'm not big on
> group expressions of
> deeply personal emotions.  I'm not criticizing them, mind you -- they work
> for many people,
> they just don't do it for me.  Since Tuesday, I've managed to offend more
> people
> who are still hurting, confused and knee-jerking reacting just by being
> calm and rational and
> analyzing things, and in no way intending to offend.  Right now, I'm
> trying desperately to keep
> two of my best friends from never speaking to me again -- a third is
> already a lost cause -- all
> because they didn't want to deal with Mr Calm and Analytical, and I'm
> still too stressed to be
> as comforting and reassuring as they were hoping for.
> Now, if there were a way of demonstrating that we are hurting and upset
> that was not predicated
> upon the assumptions that we all hurt the same, and express that the same
> way, and was voluntary
> (and I'm including simple (small p) peer pressure in that) -- I'd support
> that whole heartedly.
> Marc/Diarmaid
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