[Sca-cooks] Fwd: What holidays really mean as far as food is concerned.

[Druighad at aol.com]

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From: Wolfoneaj at aol.com
Full-name: Wolfoneaj
Date: Thu, 6 Dec 2001 20:36:04 EST
Subject: (no subject)
To: larquill at bordersstore.com, sgtyger at ameritech.net,
    guido2 at netnet.net (Rogue #492), sirios at hotmail.com,
    PHANDLEY at bordersgroupinc.com, Pbruppwc at aol.com,
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    BLWAKEMAN at aol.com

No Local Christmas, It's un-American, or something.



Thu Shallot Not Skim Flavor From the Holidays

By Craig Wilson, USA TODAY

I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced

frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out

with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the

Holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without
finding

A list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings,

High-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on

Vegetable sticks, they say.

Good grief.



Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I

Didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for

Rudolph.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots

on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,

If you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving

Rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine

Single-malt Scottish, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt
Scottish.

You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares

that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to

Turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one

for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of

gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out

of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk

or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports

car with an automatic transmission. [yep - whole milk & real butter]

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to

control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat

other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New

Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.

This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet

table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like

frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position

yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before

becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You

can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.

Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have

three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the

mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have

some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave

the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around

the corner.