[Sca-cooks] A little diversion

[Chip]

>> Take the following test and determine your personal level of
>> culinary geekdom.
>> Do you, or Have you ever:
>>
>> 1. Lectured complete strangers on the uses of unfamiliar foodstuffs?

Gentle suggestions to those who pick things up and frown at them.  I
try not to lecture.

>> 2. Know what "rocket" is?

An herb, isn't it?  Rocket and laser.  Astronomical or gastronomical?
Mmm, new recipe brewing: "Sci-Fi Herb Pie".

>> 3. Sneered at the lazy yuppie scum who buy premade polenta at the
>> supermarket?

I've never seen anybody buy it.  I have sneered directly _at_ the
polenta however.  It didn't seem fazed.

>> 4. Grown your own herbs?

Attempted, yes.  I have a brown thumb as opposed to a green thumb.
Not much sun around my apartment.

>> 5. Grown your own vegetables?

Non-period tomatoes, yes.

>> 6. Grown your own wheat?

No, I'm not in Kansas anymore.

>> 7. Foregone buying ice cream because the soup bones have taken over
>> your freezer?

Yes, but not soup bones.  I had an entire coyote in my freezer for
nearly two years.  That Lakota guy never did come back to a meeting.
Had to give Wile E. the old heave-ho to make room for feast chicken
two weeks ago.

>> 8. Made your own demi-glace?

Haven't waited for it reduce that long.

>> 9. Own five mortars and pestles, but can't find your pepper mill?

Pepper mill holds court on the back of the stove with the salt & the
shaker of Tony Chachere's seasoning.  Only one molcajete.

>> 10. Consider your mother a heretic for buying premade pie crusts?

Nah, I too gave in to the dark side & used premade for my recent
feast.  Easy beat Cheap, but it was a close race.

>> 11. Subscribe to seven cooking magazines but mooch newspapers from
>> your co-workers

Not enough money for subscriptions but I'm Pavlov's Dog when Great
Chefs is on Discovery Channel.

>> 12. Stayed up late reading Escoffier, Brillat-Savarin, or Julia
>> Child?

A little above my brow, I think.

>> 13. Say to yourself, "I can cook better than this" at a trendy
>> restaurant?

Not often, but yes.

>> 14. Know the difference between a china cap and a chinoise?

Hokay.  Unless I am in grievous error, a chinoise is a conical
strainer.  I was under the impression, though, that it was called
"chinoise" due to it's resemblance to a Chinese hat of some certain
period.  So is there in fact a difference?  Very curious now.  I have
one hanging on my kitchen wall, but now I'm not sure which one.

>> 15. Fantasize about meeting Charles Ranhofer, James Beard, or Martino da

Only Emeril.  And only if I have a brick handy.  Gotcher "Bam" right
here.

>> 16. Brag about your 10-inch Dick?

I am not thusly gifted.

>> 17. Know what the last question was about, you vulgar little
>> creature, you?

Oh, yeah.  Right.  I knew that.

>> 18. Have a special carrying case for your knives, sharpening steel,

We have an excellent sharpener in the Shire.  We trust our edges to
him.

>> 19. Spend hours in the "Used Equipment" section of the restaurant
>> supply store?

Would if we had one.

>> 20. Kept a sourdough starter alive for more than two months?

Nope.  Not much of a baker, but I'm trying.  I'll wager more
dangerous things have lived longer in the mist-shrouded forgotten
corners of my fridge, though.
_____________________________________________________________________
Iyad ibn al-Thu'ban ibn Bisharo / Thráinn Tjúguskegg
Shire of Easaraigh, Kindom of Meridies   www.easaraigh.org