[Sca-cooks] What would you advise?

[Gorgeous Muiredach]

Ahhh Rosine,

I feel for you :-/

I'm going to *treat* this as a request for special accomodation from
someone who's disabled.  Please note that this approach does not mean I
think an allergy to onions is a disability.

On the one hand, to dismiss her out of hand is to exclude her.  You do not
want to do that.  On the other hand, to follow her ultimate goal is
potentially aggravating for the rest of the crew.

Having no details on the situation, I may say things that were already
done, or aren't appropriate for the situation.  Please forgive me :-)

Probably the first thing I would do is sit with this person and talk about
it.  Be brutally honest, and lay it out.  What it means for them, what it
means for you.  Discuss the fact that perhaps she needs to grow up in her
reactions (well, pick your way to say this...)  Explain that you are
willing to look at a way that will work for EVERYONE.  If you think it is
not possible to ban onions completely from foods at events, discuss the
reasons for that with her.  (note I'm not saying at this point if it is or
not possible...)

Tell her that y'all are willing to work with her, but she has to be willing
to work with y'all...  For example, consulting with the cook
beforehand.  It *is* possible that they are such airheads that they don't
really realize what's all involved.  Invite her to assist the cooks at the
next event.  This will give her a sense of control over the thing, as well
as a good dose of reality check as to what's involved.

The right to request accomodations also involves the *responsibility* to
not just sit and expect everything done for you at the bat of an eye.

It's also her responsibility to take care of herself.  If she knows she's
that allergic to a fooditem, in the end, it's her job to place herself in a
situation where she's not going to be subject to that.

Talk about stating request out in the open instead of doing the silent
pressure thing.

>   Are there any kind of substitutions for onions? Is this actually an easy
>fix?

There may be substitutions.  I don't know of them.  I don't think it's an
easy fix.  As you point out, merely taking out onions from menus isn't that
simple, given that they are just about everywhere in processed food.  Of
course, you *could* decide not to use any food that wasn't done from
scratch, and then skip onions...  But I don't think you're talking about
only a feast, you're also talking about pot lucks and that kinda stuff,
right?

>Are we going over-board in catering to this sigular sensitivity?

Well, I happen to think that you must be at least willing to work it
out.   As I said very recently to someone in a shire nearby me:
"A community that exclude even one of its members is no community at all".
This was said after they basically refused to examine the building of a
ramp for me to get in Court/Feast.  But the basic issue remains similar.
Though it works both ways, *she* has to be willing too, and not only that
her viewpoint is the only one.

The sooner you sit and talk, the better.  I know that one of the things
that get to me, as the one usualy requesting an accomodation is that people
aren't willing to communicate.  That's when I start getting angry.  Again,
I don't know what you've done already, so I may be stating something that
has already been done.

Hope these few thoughts help.  It's early, I'm at work, and I can't think
of anything else than going back home to bed!

Gorgeous Muiredach
Rokkehealden Shire
Kingdom of the Middle
aka
Nicolas Steenhout
"You must deal with me as I think of myself" J. Hockenberry